Dawn Nocera

Category: Law of Attraction

  • Stop Manifesting What You Don’t Want

    Stop Manifesting What You Don’t Want

    How to stop manifesting what you don’t want.

    I was talking to a client while I was at the All Life Center here in central Ohio and I was drinking a cup of coffee (surprise!) Anyway the topic began to hover around attracting what we don’t want.

    Like I said, I was drinking a cup of coffee.  The coffee I was drinking wasn’t my favorite (Duncan Donuts) nor was the mug I was drinking from my favorite mug, however I was still able to enjoy myself and beautiful day and the rich conversation.

    What happens for a lot of people is that the moment they notice they are experiencing anything other than what they really want, they begin to head down the slippery road of self-sabotage. They begin feeling bad that they can’t stop manifesting what they don’t want in life.

    Take my coffee mug for instance.  It was almost the exact same mug I love and have at home, except it was green.  My favorite coffee mug at home is robin’s egg blue.  I love it so much I purchased 6 of them in total at 6 different times.  The green mug I was drinking from was not my favorite color at all.

    Let’s imagine for a moment that I have been working on manifesting Robin’s egg blue coffee mugs just like my favorite one every time I have a cup of coffee, but this time the mug was green.   There are 2 distinct roads I can take. One leads to that slippery road of self-sabotage and more of what I don’t want- more green mugs, and the other leads to more enjoyment and more of what I do want-more robin’s egg blue mugs.

    Most people believe that manifesting what we want is done sometime in the future or long before what we want arrives. But truly the BEST time to change the course of what you are manifesting is when you are in the experience of having what you don’t want.   You want to break the habits of thought that fuel the attraction of what you don’t want.   The best time to break a habit is when you are in the middle of it and consciously choosing to do (or in our case think) something different.

    green cup

    I’m using the example of a coffee mug to make a point.  I have no emotional attachment to what kind of mug I manifest, so it is much easier to shift my attention to the color I do want.  When we deal with people, personalities and activation or triggering energy, we seem to want to blame someone for the ‘horrible’ experience of drinking coffee out of a green mug.  This sets us up to travel down the self-sabotaging path that leads once again to our manifesting more green coffee mugs!

    For years, I did the most horrible things to myself when I was having an experience of manifesting what I didn’t want.  I would walk away from what I didn’t want and I’d reason and judge myself as unworthy of experiencing what I really wanted.  I would remember all of the times I had negative thoughts and doubts and I’d blame myself for manifesting the wrong thing.   I would think there was something wrong with me for not figuring out how to get what I really want by now. I would imagine that I was being punished for something I did as a kid. Then I’d go to work, I’d work harder on my mental game.  I’d set goals and create blue coffee mug vision boards, I’d write, “I am so happy and grateful now that I only drink out of Robin’s Egg blue coffee mugs.”  I’d work intensely on my mindset for 21 then 40 days, “I can manifest, blue coffee mugs.”  “I am worthy of blue coffee mugs.” I would even have deeply spiritual experiences of being ONE with Robin’s Egg Blue Coffee mugs.  I’d do mirror work and feel myself experiencing those coffee mugs in as many ways as I could imagine!  I worked my tail off trying to manifest what I really wanted.

    bluecup

    Imagine how upset I was each time I didn’t get what I wanted!  It was an endless spiral of every one else getting what they wanted except me! The whole time I was activating those around me to receive the wealth and wisdom they were asking for.

    Start Manifesting What You DO Want

    When I notice that I’m attracting something I don’t want, I explore how I feel about it.  The more triggered I am and turned off by not having what I want, the more I’m aware that I’m resisting the ACTIVATIONS that are being triggered by what I do have, in this case an unwanted green coffee mug.   There are treasures waiting to be revealed in those disappointed, pissed-off, angry emotions.

    Now when I want to attract robin’s egg blue coffee mugs, I go about living my life in the most enjoyable way I know how.   And if I attract a green coffee mug instead of a blue one, I no longer travel the path of self-sabotage and self-judgment.     I am committed to the luminary path, the path that liberates me from past programming and conditional living that keeps me stuck.   I let self-appreciation guide me through my feelings.  I acknowledge all of my feelings about attracting green coffee mugs, and I don’t dwell in them.  I seek the wisdom that is in me, and that wants to emerge from within the emotions and the feelings.  If I’m sad, I feel my sadness and appreciate myself for being courageous enough to be with the emotions until the magic that is usually on the other side of the emotions can see the light of day.

    When I’m emotionally charged, triggered by anything in my environment, I don’t try to manifest something completely different right away.  I go inward and I ask the tough questions, what is this anger hiding?  What activation am I resisting?  What light and I not revealing?   I do this without making myself wrong for having feelings.

    When I’m in the space of appreciating what is, I can appreciate myself for who I am.

    I begin to appreciate myself and the space I’m in and I create the space and vision where robin’s egg blue coffee mugs are all there is.   Eventually, I begin to notice how similar the green mug is to the blue one I really want.  I give thanks that I’m attracting clear evidence that I am open to receiving blue coffee mugs. “Look, this mug is exactly the same shape and size as the blue one I want.  How awesome is that!”   I appreciate myself for how far I’ve come and how good I feel right now in this very moment.  I appreciate myself for continuing to believe that I’m a powerful magnet to all sorts of good things.  I appreciate myself for listening in school and learning that that GREEN is actually made of blue and yellow.  Instead of measuring my progress by what I am manifesting, I now measure my progress by how I feel no matter what I am manifesting and how confident I feel in my ability to be authentic about how I really feel.  Now when I’m frustrated,  I surrender and turn over the image of robin’s egg blue coffee mugs to my guides and I LISTEN to my intuition and I LISTEN to the energy all around me.   I don’t worry about robin’s egg blue coffee mugs.  I connect with the WISDOM of all the colors of mugs and I take action on inspiration and my inner nudges.  I appreciate all the support and help I receive.  I appreciate myself for being more and more open to receiving all of my desires and most importantly I give myself a break.  I don’t go looking for what is wrong with me, or what resistance I may still have.  I embrace the new wisdom that is emerging about myself and the world.   I allow my conditional paradigms to shift to a more unconditional  beliefs about possibility and opportunity.

    And I wait.  I wait until I feel an inner peace and I wait until that inner wisdom nudges me forward in the direction of the feeling of drinking from robin’s egg blue coffee mugs.

    The BEST time to shift your habits of thought to something different is when you are in the middle of thinking them.

    I’m talking about attracting coffee mugs, but you can substitute anything you want and see how this helps you shift how you feel about yourself when you don’t have what you want.  It could be the guy, the house, the car, the job, the health.  It doesn’t really matter.  The goal is to shift how you feel about yourself in the present moment, with or without what you want.

  • Doesn’t Appreciating What You Don’t Want Attract More Of It?

    Doesn’t Appreciating What You Don’t Want Attract More Of It?

    Dawn, I’m sure I’ve asked you this before. But doesn’t appreciating yourself or appreciating anything that is circumstantially not what you want by the law of attraction drawing more of that what you don’t want to you?

    I thought it would be helpful to break down my experience of how self-appreciation and the law of attraction work together so you can get to the place of understanding.

    Some background about my work with the law of attraction and manifesting so you have a framework for where I’ve been:

    I taught a weekly Law of Attraction class for 6 years, facilitated Think and Grow Rich Mastermind Groups for over 10 years, and explored the consciousness of manifesting very seriously most of my life.   I have personally manifested money, clients, relationships, world travel, lasting friendships, jobs, etc.   And I’ve helped a lot of successful people manifest a lot more success in their work.

    My mentors and coaches in manifesting and the law of attraction have been some amazing people, Bob Proctor, Joe Vitale, Lynne Twist, Dr Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield, Edwene Gaines, and a long list of ‘dead people’ including Napoleon Hill, who to this day ‘shouts’ at me to share the deeper truths in his work more often.  But that is another story.

    I guess what I’m trying to convey is that I’m highly qualified to help people manifest what they want.  This is the easiest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

    There is a myth about the law of attraction that really stops people from evolving beyond their current vibrational frequency.   The myth or belief is that negative thinking will somehow lower your vibrational frequency and that is not true at tall.  Negative thinking simply keeps you at your current level of belief.  And your current level of belief sets your vibrational frequency.

    I won’t go into the law of attraction here, other than to say it works all the time and learning to be aware of how you feel is crucial to learning how to master the law of attraction and creating the life that you want.  But my experience is that after people watch “The Secret”, read books about the law of attraction, and try to “Think and Grow Rich” stay stuck in their mind… Thinking of how to get rich and thinking of how to take the next step. They may even think their way into taking a lot of action, and taking giant leaps, but  they never really get to the point where they can change their internal state along with their external circumstances.

    Basically, they use their thoughts to help escape their emotions.  They act as if they are afraid of real honest grief, or emotional pain.   Let me pause this train of thought long enough to say there is value in thinking as long as it helps you feel good, as long as it is helping you find the emotion, the passion, the desire, the SOUL of what you are doing.   When you use thought to help you hide your emotional state and the way you really feel deep down inside, it doesn’t help in the long run.   I know this state of escape all too well.

    I used to be so ‘afraid’ of feeling the negative emotions that I’d push them down, hide them and imagine that If hey didn’t see the light of day, they didn’t exist.  The more I tried to hide those negative emotions (anger, rage, boredom, fear, sadness, etc) the more powerfully they would emerge when I least expected them.  The more I tried to hide them the more I missed the opportunity to be honest with myself about what was really going on in me.

    When I got the clear message, that all I needed to do was appreciate myself through all of my emotional waves, the more I felt empowered to claim my emotional self and not deny that part of me.   Everything changed in my life when I stopped being afraid of my emotions and how I feel.  It was so awkward at first and it took a lot of vulnerability but I did it and I now I welcome those moments of conflict and chaos that used to send me running.  I appreciate myself for being willing to look at the shadow side of who I am without fear.

    When you surround anything with appreciation you are honoring it and allowing it to show you it’s deepest truth.   Then and only then, will it be honored and released of it’s grip.  I was told through a series of meditations, a series of shaman, and gifted intuitives that my work with self-appreciation is the technology that allows us to participate in our own evolution.  It helps us release the old, accept the now, let go/surrender what we can’t control, AND it is the same tool that helps us gain clarity of what we really want as opposed to what we think we should want (this is a huge evolutionary block for a lot of people!)

    It also helps us align with what we really want AND it helps us integrate the new frequencies we are creating by being aligned with the NOW.  Which is the greatest power of The Sacred Art of Self-Appreciaiton-it helps us learn to be grounded in the NOW and feel the possibility of what wants to emerge from the moment.   The only power we can access is the power of the NOW.

    The coolest natural result of Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation is that our superpowers come online and we activate our own DNA= Divine Natural Alignment.   Source LOVES the full range of emotions and is never afraid of the darkest feelings because Source appreciates them as a part of our natural expansion!

    Without appreciating ourselves and being aware of how we truly feel, those emotions get packed back in to our subconscious and each time we deny our feelings they become a denser and greater unconscious ‘attractive’ force.  I’m sure you’ve heard, “What you resist persists.”  It happens with emotions and people just don’t know what to do with them.  They feel powerless and afraid of how they feel, and in truth our Power comes from our feelings.

    The question I offered in response to this question is, “How do you feel about the changes in you since doing the work of self-appreciation? Do you feel more connected to yourself?  Do you feel more capable of creating the life you want?”  Most people who do the work of self-appreciation become attuned to their own emotional state and they can feel the subtle energies of fear coming long before they become a problem and they no longer hide from how they really are.

    If you can embrace your emotions, you can use your mind to help you create subtle shift in how you feel about yourself and then you can create the life you want without apology.

    The truth is when you appreciate yourself the universe response by sending you all the support you need to be MORE of who you really are.  And you are really an amazing light in the world.

    Share what you appreciate about yourself below. Three times a year I do a Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation Challenge during Mercury Retrograde. It is a great way for you to practice self-appreciation while being witnessed by others in a group.