We can walk through portals of possibility for anything in our life. In this post I want to share how my youngest daughter overcame some beliefs she had about what it means to be a friend, using a portal of possibility for True & Honest Friendship. I learned a lot about the rules we make that prevent us from having deep and meaningful relationships with others.
The other day my my 11 year old daughter came home from school and asked me for advice on how to deal with a friendship issue that was really bugging her. She often does this, so I’m aware of the energy that keeps her feeling left out, feeling separate, and not belonging in friendship groups.
I gave her some soft advice, “Oh, it will be okay, you’ll get over it and so will they.” But she wouldn’t have any of that.
She looked me in the eye and she said, “Mom, I don’t want you to talk to me like I’m a kid. I want you to tell me what you’d tell your clients. What advice would you give an adult client of yours?”
Well, OK then! I love that the tools I use with my clients are just as easy to use with my kids. I used my “Portals of Possibility” worksheet with her.
I asked her to list all of the rules she had about ‘Friendship.’ Her list included things like, friends are nice to each other, friends always care for each other, friends wait for each other, friends save each other seats, friends keep secrets, and they tell each other everything. (hm… Interesting!)
Then I asked her to list all of the beliefs she had about herself that might prevent her from making friends, keeping friends, being a good friend. On her list was, “I’m TOO different.” In her eyes, I could see tears. I knew we were getting somewhere. She wanted to hold the tears back a bit, but I reminded her that tears are really good in my line of work because it means we are touching the truth. I let her know that my clients cry too, so it is normal to cry when you touch your own truth.
We enjoyed about 40 minutes of just getting into it, and visioning what she really wants in her friendships. She just wants to play, spend time with her friends, laugh, have fun! She is 11, these things are very important to her. We did a guided visualization exercise where she met the imaginary gatekeeper that guards the Portal of True Friendship. She learned how to ask the Gatekeeper to help her walk through the portal even though she is “Too different.”
A surprising side effect of using the Portal of Possibilities tool is that both my clients and my daughter naturally experienced a sort of shamanic Soul Retrieval in the process.
It is a wonderful tool to use when want to walk through a Portal of Possibility in your life.
There is more to it than simply making lists, but you can do this on your own and it will give you more clarity about what it stopping you from walking through portals of possibility to get what you want in your life.
- Write down the rules that you imagine are preventing you from stepping into the portal of possibility so you can have what you want.
- Write down what you know about what you really want once you step through the portal of possibility and can have whatever you desire.
- Write down the beliefs you have about yourself that prevent you from moving forward and stepping over the threshold. These are the beliefs that sound like, “When I’m skinny. When I have a degree. When I know what I really want… THEN I’ll step through the portal. Until then, I’m just getting ready.
- Name the Portal of Possibility you want to walk through. Is it the Portal of the Possibility for Sustainable Abundance? Is it the Portal of Possibility for Sharing Your Deepest Wisdom (This is the portal I help people walk through with my work.) Is it the Portal of Possibility for Lasting Love? Vibrant health? Leadership? A job you want?
What is the Portal of Possibility you want to enter? There is an entirely new and magical world on the other side!