Yesterday, I had an intense day working with clients helping them walk through portals of possibility to help them get what they want. This is a part of the abundance work I do, and it is so soul satisfying to me.
During the day I remembered a conversation I had with a potential client a few years ago. He had deep wisdom to share about overcoming debilitating anxiety and panic attacks and he had walked his own deeply spiritual journey of overcoming anxiety for himself, but when it came time to do the work of sharing his work with more people, he insisted on playing the game like an athlete. He had natural talent and skill for speaking, and he insisted, “Just tell me the rules of the game, Coach! Tell, me what to do and I’ll do it!”
At the time, I wan’t able to articulate why I couldn’t help him. I just knew I couldn’t. I suggested he join NSA (The Natural Speakers Association) or get professional speaker training where the rules of the game would be spelled out for him. He wanted to learn the rules of the game of speaking & coaching so he could have certainty that he would succeed. I suggested another coach who I felt would be a great match for him. This was one of those conversations that didn’t end well. He got angry and I wasn’t able to articulate why I couldn’t help him. I just knew I was not the Coach he needed.
In my mind, I could hear myself saying, “You couldn’t pay me enough to help you achieve success, fortune, and fame the way you are asking me to do it. I just can’t do that.” Though I knew I couldn’t work with him I wasn’t 100% clear as to why. He wanted more rules, more certainty, and he wanted to plow through it all so he could achieve success, fortune, and fame as fast as he could.
I was used to working with clients who are athletes, who push themselves beyond their limits in order to achieve pole position in their field of expertise, whether it was professional sports, real estate, sales, and even professional speaking. I was used to helping clients get what they wanted. It is very easy for me to help people achieve the success they are asking for, especially these athlete types who value the push and drive more than anything. But the bottom line was, I’m not the right person to help him.
I believed he had deep wisdom to share, that his message really did matter, and that he could activate alignment and abundance for more and more people, but it took me a few more weeks to understand that the way he wanted to get there (know the rules, follow the rules, create certainty of success) didn’t work for me any more so I couldn’t possibly help him.
He had been referred to me by people he respected. They told him I was someone who could help him get results and while that part was still true, the way I helped my clients get results had shifted by they time he and I talked. Where I used to work with known outcomes and measurable goals, that left me feeling dissatisfied, disappointed, and really down on myself. I just could not work that way any more. I was now happily helping people embrace uncertainty, deep wisdom, and true abundance that goes beyond fortune, fame and material goals.
I opened my email this morning and saw a message I sent to myself at 6:31 am. The same time my alarm went off this morning.
Time 6:31 am.
“Oh, that is where I’ve been going all my life!” I thought to myself, “And that is where the luminary coaches and mentors and leaders I’m working with want me to take them! They want to get out of the Conditional Matrix and they want to play in the Unconditional Field of Infinite Possibilities!”
When I saw the email at first I forgot I sent it, then I remembered that this was my first thought of the day. It was my Soul’s morning reminder that my deepest calling is to play in the Unconditional Field of Infinite Possibilities and to bring others along with me.
This is why I couldn’t work with the client i mentioned above. He was still searching for another box (Matrix) with rules and conditions that he could fit into. He wanted me to create a box for him full of If…then statements. If you set up an event… then people will come. If you work hard… then you’ll be successful. If you have a website… then you’ll be real. (NOT!) If you do this… then you’ll achieve that. He wanted certainty and massive action, It was just not possible for us to work together. We didn’t want to play the same game. I was helping people get out of the matrix and he desperately wanted to stay in.
This was a wonderful lesson for me to learn about leading with my own wisdom, and valuing my deepest wisdom.
If I had been able to articulate that we are playing a different game, he might have understood where I was coming from. If I had know that’s what was going on at the time, I may have been able to help him see the Portal of Possibility I help my clients walk through is the Portal from the Conditional Matrix of Rules and Conditions to the Liberated Space of Infinite Possibilities where there are no rules imposed by outside forces only spiritual principles that you explore and discover once you cross the threshold.
The clients I work with now have achieved success with the just-do-it, check-it-off-the-list, follow-the-proven-system, my-way-or-the-highway, and they are looking for a different way of doing things. They realize at some deeper level that when they push, the world pushes back and they are looking for more than money, fame, and success. They want meaning and purpose. They want to be the type of coaches, leaders, mentors, and guides that lead with their heart.
In my next post I’ll share an example of a portal of possibility I shared with my 12 year old daughter about friendship.