Mothers are the most appreciated group of people in the world. How do I know? From 2000-2002, I surveyed over 4000 teenage girls and 50% of them voted for their mom as the most influential woman in all of history. I wasn’t surprised.
Fast forward to today, and here I am the mother of 3 kids of my own. As of today my babies are 11, 13, and 19. My oldest is in her first year of college. I share a lot about how I parent with my private clients. Luminary coaches and mentors want our businesses to thrive so we can manifest our fullest potential and that is so much easier when we are parenting our children to their highest potential as well.
Being a mom is one of the most natural places we practice our luminary work in the world. Our kids call us into our highest form of leadership. Over the years, I’ve learned to keep things simple in parenting. Here are the steps or guidelines I work with in raising my luminary children.
Step 1: Let True Desires Lead The Way
True desires are different than wants, needs, or longings. True desires are the desires within us that call us forward into the life we are designed to live. Learning to discern the difference between a true desire and a want is a skill that I developed over time. When kids are babies every desire is a true desire. There were no conditions attached to what they wanted, they just wanted what they wanted and were masterfully persistent in getting what they wanted. As my kids grew older, discerning the difference between what they really wanted to be, do and have required a little more of my intuitive skills. Around 7 they began to want what their friends wanted, or what they thought they should want. By the time they are in their teens, this discernment takes conversation and a bit more active listening and aligning before I feel confident that what they want is really a true desire. And if it is a true desire, I’ll do what ever I can to support their desires. Yes, even if their desires go against what I’d want for them. Like when they choose a different religious path than mine. It takes a lot of unconditional love to support their desires that challenge your values. I’ve found that my biggest moments of personal growth have come from upgrading my beliefs and expand my mind through supporting my children in this way.
Helping clients gain clarity of what their true desires are is an essential skill to all luminary work that you do. If you can’t believe in and nurture the true desires of your clients, you can’t possibly be of service to them. I have found that practicing this skill at home with my family over the past 20 year has been essential in helping me hold the space for my clients to access clarity and get what they want.
Step 2: Be Present
All of my kids have a very different way of communicating with me. Some call out my name before they start talking, others just run in and start talking before I even realize they are there. When my kids started to talk and move on their own, it became necessary for me to really stop what I was doing and be very present to what they were asking me, or sharing with me.
It’s not always possible to stop everything and be present. When I was in high school my mom had one rule for when she came home from work; don’t ask her anything until she had her 5-10 minute nap. As annoying as it was for my brother and I to wait those 10 minutes, we learned to respect and honor her time to regroup from work so she could be present to what we were asking. It also helped that she said, “No” to every question, request, or comment we made to her before she had her 10 minute nap.
I’m not sure my mom was conscious that she was honoring her own energy by giving herself time to ‘return home to herself’ before she entered yet another environment where she was depended on by others, but this allowed her to be more present with us and our desires.
This skill of returning to my own energy while simultaneously being present to my children is somewhat of a habit for me now. I work from home most days and I’ve learned to take a nap or meditate for 20 minutes before my kids come home from school. It helps me return home to myself after working with clients all day and helps me remain present for the rest of the day.
3: Appreciate Yourself
I was going to say that providing an environment where everyone feels safe asking for support, sharing their dreams, and being themselves, was the third step in being a luminary mom. And it is, however if you don’t appreciate yourself as a woman, as a mother, as someone with unique dreams and desires who appreciates and values yourself, there will not be space for your children to do that for themselves. As mothers, how we feel about ourselves is the true environment our kids live in. The vibration or frequency of the home is set by how the mother feels about herself. No matter what you do to help your children raise their vibration, nothing is more important for them than to see you as someone who values and appreciates themselves.
This goes beyond physical appearance, which is where society places value and appreciation. This is our deepest inner work. When we deeply appreciate ourselves we become the space of pure possibility for everyone around us.