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Stop Manifesting What You Don’t Want

How to stop manifesting what you don’t want.

I was talking to a client while I was at the All Life Center here in central Ohio and I was drinking a cup of coffee (surprise!) Anyway the topic began to hover around attracting what we don’t want.

Like I said, I was drinking a cup of coffee.  The coffee I was drinking wasn’t my favorite (Duncan Donuts) nor was the mug I was drinking from my favorite mug, however I was still able to enjoy myself and beautiful day and the rich conversation.

What happens for a lot of people is that the moment they notice they are experiencing anything other than what they really want, they begin to head down the slippery road of self-sabotage. They begin feeling bad that they can’t stop manifesting what they don’t want in life.

Take my coffee mug for instance.  It was almost the exact same mug I love and have at home, except it was green.  My favorite coffee mug at home is robin’s egg blue.  I love it so much I purchased 6 of them in total at 6 different times.  The green mug I was drinking from was not my favorite color at all.

Let’s imagine for a moment that I have been working on manifesting Robin’s egg blue coffee mugs just like my favorite one every time I have a cup of coffee, but this time the mug was green.   There are 2 distinct roads I can take. One leads to that slippery road of self-sabotage and more of what I don’t want- more green mugs, and the other leads to more enjoyment and more of what I do want-more robin’s egg blue mugs.

Most people believe that manifesting what we want is done sometime in the future or long before what we want arrives. But truly the BEST time to change the course of what you are manifesting is when you are in the experience of having what you don’t want.   You want to break the habits of thought that fuel the attraction of what you don’t want.   The best time to break a habit is when you are in the middle of it and consciously choosing to do (or in our case think) something different.

green cup

I’m using the example of a coffee mug to make a point.  I have no emotional attachment to what kind of mug I manifest, so it is much easier to shift my attention to the color I do want.  When we deal with people, personalities and activation or triggering energy, we seem to want to blame someone for the ‘horrible’ experience of drinking coffee out of a green mug.  This sets us up to travel down the self-sabotaging path that leads once again to our manifesting more green coffee mugs!

For years, I did the most horrible things to myself when I was having an experience of manifesting what I didn’t want.  I would walk away from what I didn’t want and I’d reason and judge myself as unworthy of experiencing what I really wanted.  I would remember all of the times I had negative thoughts and doubts and I’d blame myself for manifesting the wrong thing.   I would think there was something wrong with me for not figuring out how to get what I really want by now. I would imagine that I was being punished for something I did as a kid. Then I’d go to work, I’d work harder on my mental game.  I’d set goals and create blue coffee mug vision boards, I’d write, “I am so happy and grateful now that I only drink out of Robin’s Egg blue coffee mugs.”  I’d work intensely on my mindset for 21 then 40 days, “I can manifest, blue coffee mugs.”  “I am worthy of blue coffee mugs.” I would even have deeply spiritual experiences of being ONE with Robin’s Egg Blue Coffee mugs.  I’d do mirror work and feel myself experiencing those coffee mugs in as many ways as I could imagine!  I worked my tail off trying to manifest what I really wanted.


Imagine how upset I was each time I didn’t get what I wanted!  It was an endless spiral of every one else getting what they wanted except me! The whole time I was activating those around me to receive the wealth and wisdom they were asking for.

Start Manifesting What You DO Want

When I notice that I’m attracting something I don’t want, I explore how I feel about it.  The more triggered I am and turned off by not having what I want, the more I’m aware that I’m resisting the ACTIVATIONS that are being triggered by what I do have, in this case an unwanted green coffee mug.   There are treasures waiting to be revealed in those disappointed, pissed-off, angry emotions.

Now when I want to attract robin’s egg blue coffee mugs, I go about living my life in the most enjoyable way I know how.   And if I attract a green coffee mug instead of a blue one, I no longer travel the path of self-sabotage and self-judgment.     I am committed to the luminary path, the path that liberates me from past programming and conditional living that keeps me stuck.   I let self-appreciation guide me through my feelings.  I acknowledge all of my feelings about attracting green coffee mugs, and I don’t dwell in them.  I seek the wisdom that is in me, and that wants to emerge from within the emotions and the feelings.  If I’m sad, I feel my sadness and appreciate myself for being courageous enough to be with the emotions until the magic that is usually on the other side of the emotions can see the light of day.

When I’m emotionally charged, triggered by anything in my environment, I don’t try to manifest something completely different right away.  I go inward and I ask the tough questions, what is this anger hiding?  What activation am I resisting?  What light and I not revealing?   I do this without making myself wrong for having feelings.

When I’m in the space of appreciating what is, I can appreciate myself for who I am.

I begin to appreciate myself and the space I’m in and I create the space and vision where robin’s egg blue coffee mugs are all there is.   Eventually, I begin to notice how similar the green mug is to the blue one I really want.  I give thanks that I’m attracting clear evidence that I am open to receiving blue coffee mugs. “Look, this mug is exactly the same shape and size as the blue one I want.  How awesome is that!”   I appreciate myself for how far I’ve come and how good I feel right now in this very moment.  I appreciate myself for continuing to believe that I’m a powerful magnet to all sorts of good things.  I appreciate myself for listening in school and learning that that GREEN is actually made of blue and yellow.  Instead of measuring my progress by what I am manifesting, I now measure my progress by how I feel no matter what I am manifesting and how confident I feel in my ability to be authentic about how I really feel.  Now when I’m frustrated,  I surrender and turn over the image of robin’s egg blue coffee mugs to my guides and I LISTEN to my intuition and I LISTEN to the energy all around me.   I don’t worry about robin’s egg blue coffee mugs.  I connect with the WISDOM of all the colors of mugs and I take action on inspiration and my inner nudges.  I appreciate all the support and help I receive.  I appreciate myself for being more and more open to receiving all of my desires and most importantly I give myself a break.  I don’t go looking for what is wrong with me, or what resistance I may still have.  I embrace the new wisdom that is emerging about myself and the world.   I allow my conditional paradigms to shift to a more unconditional  beliefs about possibility and opportunity.

And I wait.  I wait until I feel an inner peace and I wait until that inner wisdom nudges me forward in the direction of the feeling of drinking from robin’s egg blue coffee mugs.

The BEST time to shift your habits of thought to something different is when you are in the middle of thinking them.

I’m talking about attracting coffee mugs, but you can substitute anything you want and see how this helps you shift how you feel about yourself when you don’t have what you want.  It could be the guy, the house, the car, the job, the health.  It doesn’t really matter.  The goal is to shift how you feel about yourself in the present moment, with or without what you want.

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