Category: Coaching & Mentoring

Self-Appreciation And The Law Of Attraction

For years I taught a weekly Law of Attraction workshop and we practiced ‘gratitude as a way to set our vibration to attract more of what we want in our lives. Since then, I’ve found that gratitude misses the mark for me and I practiced gratitude consistently for 10 years.

Here is why…

Gratitude says, “Thanks for being in my life. I like having you here.” Appreciation says, “I see the VALUE in your presence in my life. I get you. You increase who I am.”

Most of us are looking outside of ourselves when we think of gratitude. I’m grateful for my car (out there) I’m grateful for the sun, food, water, electric… etc. They are all outside of yourself. And if you understand the law of attraction, what you put your attention on is your attraction point. (Go back and read that last sentence again.) When your attention is out there being grateful for something that is outside of yourself you have to do a lot of work to bridge that gap. However, if you attention is on self-appreciation FIRST, you are setting your point of attraction to YOU. The people who manifest the easiest are those that have a deep sense of self-love and self-appreciation and they manifest from the most fertile garden of attraction.

“If you attention is on self-appreciation FIRST, you are setting your point of attraction to YOU.”

Appreciate yourself! YOU are your point of attraction. YOU are the center of YOUR universe. YOU are the light you seek. There is nothing that needs to be fixed or figured out other than how can you love and appreciate yourself more. Seriously.

I know there is nothing I can do to convince you that BIG changes come from this simple practice. This is why all of the work I do now is ONLY with other Luminary mentors, coaches, and leaders who want to grow in life, or in their business and who are committed to doing the work of self-appreciation and want grow to love themselves more and more every day.

This is so much more than self-care, this is the work that keeps you on your luminary path.

October 16, 2015
How To Handle The Monday Morning Blues

One of my luminary clients who works in a government agency asked me how to use self-appreciation to help her feel better about Mondays. She was struggling with the day-to-day of a very challenging work life while she is creating the life of her dreams.

I asked her what part of the day was the most challenging. She laughed and said, “Getting out of bed!”

“Great! That is the perfect place to start appreciating yourself!”

When you are just starting out on your luminary journey, a part of you knows that you can create the life you want, and the other part of you is still living a life you are wanting to grow out of. I remember feeling this way many times in my life. It is the feeling of living in the gap between reality and possibility. It can be dark and lonely.

This is the perfect place to practice the sacred art of self-appreciation, when you notice you are not where you want to be.

I remember those days.

Here is what I suggested to help her beat the Monday morning blues.

Appreciate yourself for being aware that you don’t want to wake up and go to work.

Appreciate yourself for feeling frustrated with yourself, for feeling anger at your boss, for feeling like you don’t want to work another day.

Appreciate yourself for always having a choice. Appreciate that you could stay home if you really wanted to. Appreciate yourself for playing with the idea of just quitting. Appreciate yourself for your power to choose: In bed, or out of bed. Appreciate yourself for being alive (though if you are suicidal this may not help, so don’t think about it.) Appreciate yourself for taking the time to appreciate yourself before you get up.

2nd of 777 Reasons to Appreciate Yourself

“Self-Appreciation can help you overcome the Monday Morning Blues.”

Then if you feel like venturing out a little broader, ask yourself, “What makes me amazing?” Then appreciate all of the amazing things about yourself that have nothing to do with going to work.

For instance this client/friend I am referring to here is so AMAZING! She LOVES life and loves meeting new people. She can connect with anyone and loves to hear people’s stories. Although she is working in a government job that she may not enjoy on Monday mornings, the rest of her life is full of adventures in meeting and interviewing other adventurous people.

When I used to do my morning work around gratitude, I would start with my toes, “I am grateful for my toes.” and then I’d move up my body and show gratitude to every inch of my body. My work with self-appreciation has so dramatically changed my inner world, that I happily appreciate my toes and every inch of my body. The vibration of appreciation includes the vibration of gratitude, who knew!

A part of us is always emerging and growing into more of who we are designed to be, so you can use self-appreciation as a tool to help you be present to where you are and navigate the deep waters of the gap between where you are and where you really want to be.

October 5, 2015
777 Reasons To Do The Work Of Self-Appreciation

Reasons To Do The Work Of Self-Appreciation

“The beauty of doing the work of self-appreciation is it keeps you in the present moment. Breathing and appreciating yourself right where you are. helps you appreciate the present moment.”

“Self-Appreciation helps you stay mindful of the present moment.”

Mindfulness is such a powerful tool for living. The first time I discovered the power of mindfulness was at a mastermind retreat in 2011. That experience led me to write a very short eBook, Manifesting Mindfulness. The book helps remind me how to be fully in the present moment while moving forward in life.

Doing the work of self-Appreciation helps me be mindful of the present moment. It gives me an opportunity to dive through the waves of emotions that lie just under the surface at any given moment. “The WORK” of self-appreciation is sharing with others what you appreciate about yourself. Practicing self-appreciation throughout the day helps keep your mind on what you appreciate about yourself in each moment in time.

As I practice self-appreciation for this moment, I appreciate myself for writing this blog post. I appreciate myself for writing one reason to do the work of self-appreciation. I also appreciate that being present now reminds me of my eBook. It’s another thing I appreciate about myself in this moment. I appreciate myself for seeing the value in publishing that short eBook and not getting caught up in thinking that the value of a book is measured in how many pages it contains. I appreciate myself for sharing a tiny part of my journey with others.

It feels like I am giving back to the universe and that feels really good.

Share what you appreciate about yourself below. Three times a year I do a Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation Challenge during Mercury Retrograde. It is a great way for you to practice self-appreciation while being witnessed by others in a group.

October 1, 2015
Too Much Inspiration

It’s been a few months it seems since I’ve felt the creative impulse to post something that might help you in living your luminary life. And today I was given an inspiring, fun, and overwhelming blog writing assignment from my spiritual team. And I’m not sure it is possible.

So I did what has become a way of life for me, I sat down at my computer and I did ‘the work’ of self-appreciation.

That is what we do as luminaries, we do our sacred inner work. My inner work, just happens to be the Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation and “the work” of self-appreciation is all about sharing what you appreciate about yourself in safe place where there are other people doing the work along side you.

So I sat down and wrote what I appreciate about myself and this seemingly impossible blog posting assignment.

Here is what I wrote:

“I appreciate myself for struggling to write my blog lately. I really have been wanting to write, however everything I think of writing doesn’t feel aligned or quite right. There was a time when I would have just done it and wrote something, anything, for the sake of doing what I “should” do. I appreciate the struggle and how hard it has been to align because the struggle, prompted me to ask for help from my spiritual team.
A few days ago, maybe a week or two, I asked for ideas on what to write that would feel aligned and help me gain momentum in the direction I feel called and I want to go. Today as I sat down to read posts here and to look at my blog to see if anyone is even visiting my site these days, I received an inspiration that felt more like a directive, “Write 777 Reasons to Do the Work of Self-Appreciation” and post them to my blog.
777?!
Then I looked up the number 777 and it was all about receiving divine support for my life purpose and my work! YAY! So here I am, with this inspired assignment and appreciating myself for feeling not so aligned with the writing and still appreciating myself for receiving something that feels aligned with where I’m going. I’m becoming a master at looking for the easy and effortless path (which is the aligned and activated path). I appreciate that I don’t have to jump into doing, nor is it good for me to jump into doing. I appreciate that I can sit with this and find the easy and effortless path to allowing 777 reasons to appreciate “myself” to naturally start writing themselves. I also appreciate the feeling of being in masterful relationship with who I am. That feels really good. I feel really good and really expanded. I appreciate me. “

777 is actually a big number. It is over 2 years worth of blog posts. My mind wonders is it possible? Are there 777 reasons to do the work of Self-Appreciation? The beauty of actually doing the work of self-appreciation is it keeps you in the present moment, breathing and appreciating yourself right were you are whether you know the answers or not. I can honestly say, I am not sure I will find the end of the 777 reasons to do ‘the work’ of self-appreciation, however I am leaning in and committing to writing just ONE reason today. And if you noticed, I already did.

September 30, 2015
Trusting My Intuition

This month has been quite interesting. In case you didn’t guess, ‘interesting’ is the luminary code word for ‘challenging.” The big challenge? My health. However, during my most challenging month ever, I received so many bits of intuitive insight, guidance, and awareness regarding my health, and the work I do that I can honestly say, “I appreciate my experience of sickness.” Otherwise, I may not have received some very important insights.

It is never easy to admit when I’m experiencing a challenge, however I have to share that I haven’t felt good in 3 weeks. Normally, I feel pretty good, I breathe easy, and I have plenty of energy to do the things I want to do. That is just not the case recently. Despite this, I feel so good about how I am treating myself compared to how I used to handle any kind of sickness.

How I used to handle things sounded something like this, “You attracted this, Dawn. Now you have to figure out how to attract health and soon before anyone finds out that you are sick!” “What is wrong with you? Why can’t you just think yourself healthy!” “Just work through it and don’t let ‘them’ see you sweat.” “You know how to heal yourself, just do it!” I never gave myself the space or time to see the blessing or the lesson of sickness. I gave myself a hard time for experiencing sickness then I’d get busy trying to figure out how to hide until I figured out how to fix it.

My mentors told me when I’m sick to manifest health. Just do it.

This time it is different.

My commitment to doing the work of self-appreciation really changed the tone of my inner dialog. This time instead of allowing the habit of beating myself up for being sick to kick in, I asked my inner guidance, “How can I be gentle with myself and return to even better health than I had before?” Right away I heard that I should eliminate dairy, nuts and processed sugar from my diet and eat more veggies and fruits.

I’ve learned over the years to trust my intuition by following it’s guidance. There is nothing more important to me than to honor those intuitive insights. I’d like to say I followed this no dairy, nuts or sugar 100%, however habits are stronger than desires. I’m about 95% there though.

The magic key to unlocking intuition is asking the right questions. Our intuition is activated by the questions we ask it every day. When the pain was so intense that I couldn’t see an end in sight, I asked, “How long will this last?” I immediately knew that it would be a month before I would be back to feeling great again. I’m treating myself really well with good food, lots of water and deep rest, hoping that my intuition was wrong on that point.

Changing my diet didn’t seem to help my sickness, however I continued to avoid those 3 foods. One day I was talking to a dear friend of mine who is a very wise luminary and she shared her intuitive insights about why I was sick. She explained that the purpose of the sickness was to help me learn to receive support from my family in new ways. When I heard her say it, I just knew it was the truth. I felt a calm peaceful feeling wash over me. That feeling usually comes when the truth is revealed. “Ah, yes. I get it.” That feeling helps me trust my intuition (and the insights I receive though others!)

I’m learning to accept support from others. The sickness is simply a way that ‘requires’ me to receive help from others. I’m still unwinding this package and learning what it really means to receive support from others in a self-appreciating way that doesn’t need to figure out how to tell others to support me, and simply allows them to support me in ways that makes sense for them.

Another benefit of not feeling good is that I had to really slow down. As I was in this super slow moving state of being that was experiencing extreme pain, I felt very connected to the Divine. At the height of pain, I remember thinking, “The only thing here with me and the pain is God.” Just me the pain and my Creator. Nothing else exists. There was something very comforting and peaceful about that experience. This was when it came to me that nothing was physically wrong with me. I had a feeling and inner knowing that my DNA was being activated and re-wired so I could live my highest calling. I wondered how many other luminaries are getting ready to step into more visibility with their calling and are experiencing a complete shut down of their energy for extended periods of time? Do they know they are being activated? Do they know this is a good thing and not a physical sickness? I asked my inner guidance, “Would knowing this help?” What came to me was to “Trust that I’m being activated, get the support I need, and tell fear to take a seat and relax. Nothing here to worry about.”

I received so many intuitive insights this month. It seemed like the more I appreciated where I was without trying to make it ‘wrong’ or trying to fix it, the more my intuition was flowing. I’m in slow motion but my intuition is flowing with ease and grace. And the good news is that I’m feeling so much better every day.

I’m not sure who the bigger hero of this story is, intuition or self-appreciation. All I know is that I trust both the work of self-appreciation and my intuition to help me connect more deeply with the Divine in me.

June 30, 2015
The BS That Shows Up When You Are READY For A Breakthrough

When you are ready for a breakthrough (prepared, aware, and free of resistance) and ready to live your life purpose, the universe conspires to bring you situations, events, circumstances to help you ‘clean up’ relationships and really get clear on how you want your life to be when you are fully living your purpose.

I’m in the thick of a bombardment of mental, and emotional opportunities to face my dragons. The things that are showing up, I could never predict or guess. However each level of ‘crazy’ that is showing up is an opportunity for me to deepen my relationships and my commitments in my life and to LIFE itself and get clear on what I really want.

What is showing up for me is all internal ‘stuff’ triggered by random events. And I have to say, I am so glad I’ve done ‘the WORK’ of self-appreciation to get me though this and to model what is possible for those I love.

After seeing the most recent layer of ‘you have got to be kiddin’ me!’ I’ve found a deeper trust in unseen forces to orchestrate events in my favor.

There are no random events. EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

Everything that happens is truly an opportunity for complete transformation of old habits and old beliefs that wear you down into deeper consciousness and awareness of who you really are.

From my experience and the experiences of my Luminary Tribe, here is some of the BS (Belief Systems) that shows up when you are ready for a breakthrough:

1. “This is too much for me to handle!”

Well, this is complete BS. Each new opportunity to remove your invisible fences is an opportunity for you to increase your stamina, just a bit more so you handle the vibrational frequencies and energy of where you are going.

2. “I must have attracted this because I wasn’t in alignment with what I really want. There is still so much work ahead of me, I’ll never be ready!”

Complete and utter BS! You attracted it because you are READY for a breakthrough. There is no work ahead of you (there never has been) there is only the work that is in front of you right now. The work that you MUST do to sustain the vibration of where you are going is to appreciate yourself right NOW and deal with what is in front of you right now while being more and more clear about what you really want as you move forward. Amazing personal power comes from “the WORK” of Self-Appreciation in this way.

3. “There is NOTHING I can do to change this situation so I’ll just ignore it and hope it goes away.”

This one is a favorite of a lot of people in my Luminary Tribe. They are in a relationship with someone or something happens that they believe they can’t change so they just ignore it and just hope it doesn’t get in the way of their breakthrough. Better yet, they develop resentment or anger (yikes!) towards the person, or situation that they feel powerless to change. You may not be able to change the situation or the person, however you can choose to be in a different relationship with it. You can choose to show up fully in your grounded empowered state. You can choose to observe rather than judge. You can choose to change your perception of the situation or the person. (This is completely magical!)

When you are ready for a breakthrough remember, “The Universe has got your back!” It is not conspiring to stop you from growing, it is aiding you in being able to sustain the growth you are asking for.

May 5, 2015
Where You Can Practice Self-Appreciation

I’ve created something special just for you!

If you want to learn more about The Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation and practice posting what you appreciate about yourself (I suggest posting 30 days in a row), here is your opportunity.

I’ve been practicing The Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation for over a year and it is the most effective thing I do to support my Alignment and my Purpose in Life.

It is not easy to post what you really appreciate about yourself, however it is required for you to step into your next level calling in life.

Most of us are stuck in some form of self-abuse and self-judgment. We abuse ourselves by using work to avoid tough conversations with the people we love. The self-abuse comes from judgment of ourselves and judgment of others. We abuse ourselves by using our family as an excuse NOT to live our life’s purpose (which is ultimately to be happy and share our flavor of happiness with the world around us through our work.)

There are a million ways we practice self-abuse and self-judgment without being conscious of it. Self-judgment can’t stand the light of self-appreciation. Self-appreciation activates alignment.

Self-Appreciation Activates our DNA (Divine Natural Alignment)

It doesn’t matter if you are a stay at home mom or a luminary leader, self-appreciation is no longer an option. I feel so strongly about this that I’ve shifted my entire coaching practice to support this one single focus, to share the work of self-appreciation first with luminaries and leaders and then with the world around me.

It is impossible to build an effortless & aligned Empire when you are judging yourself and your work.

It is impossible to live the life you were born to live when you are judging others, which is ultimately a mirror reflection of how you judge yourself.

It is impossible to be as abundant, healthy, or as in love as you want to be when you are judging yourself as unlovable, unable to change habits, or judging your ability to handle money.

Self-Appreciation is the bottom line.

That is why I created this Facebook Page where you can practice The Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation without apology. It is as simple as posting what you appreciate about yourself right now. Something so small as “I appreciate my sense of humor.” or “I appreciate myself for choosing to be a great parent!” or “I appreciate the way I see life.”

I’ll be starting a few small private groups in the coming months for those who want to go deeper and learn more about The Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation. However this page is the place where you can go and experience transformational self-appreciation with other people as I let more and more people know about the page.

Since doing “the WORK” of Self-Appreciation, I’ve attracted nearly 50 luminaries to join me in a private group on Facebook where we post almost daily the different things we appreciate about ourselves. We are breaking down old paradigms, we are shattering limiting beliefs, and most of all we are creating sacred space for our own transformation – the space to receive.

Artists are owning their artistry and selling paintings that they once viewed as a hobby. Coaches are claiming their superpowers and helping their clients in ways they never thought was possible. Personally, I am finally taking ownership of my calling and attracting global opportunities. And I’m not the only one making a global impact. Many of us are.

“The WORK” of self-appreciation is not about celebrating the wins or focusing on beating the competition. “The WORK” of self-appreciation is about seeing your VALUE no matter what is going on around you, or in you. When you feel yucky, or just uncomfortable and you are not sure why you feel that way, that is the BEST time to practice self-appreciation. These are the times that provide us the greatest opportunity to take ownership of our value by appreciating ourselves when we don’t feel very self-appreciating.

Posting about self-appreciation has nothing to do with seeking approval from others who are posting. It has everything to do with you breaking the habit of living the life you think you SHOULD be living and LIVING the life you are designed to live.

So let me ask you, what do you appreciate about yourself? What do you appreciate about your work? Take a risk and post it here.

You’ll learn a lot about yourself through paying attention to how you feel just before posting. You’ll discover that your life lessons will show up in all their glory. Your hidden challenges will reveal themselves and that kind of self-awareness is priceless.

April 30, 2015
The Purpose Of Negative Emotions

“The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale, “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill, and “The Magic of Thinking Big” by David J. Schwartz have one thing in common, THINKING! I’ve even co-authored a book on thinking, “The 7 Keys to Freedom: The Ultimate Guide to Developing the Mind.” We are trained to believe that how we THINK is the most important aspect of being human. But what really makes us human is how we FEEL.

The truth is that our thinking and our feelings go hand in hand. Our thinking creates a feeling, and the feeling causes us to act in a certain way, and how we act can affect how we think and feel about ourselves.

The problem is there is an epidemic of people who think so they don’t have to feel.

Holding back, or hiding your feelings is a major source of stress and stress causes disease. We avoid conversations that have the potential to bring up negative emotions in us because we are unaware of the purpose and power of negative emotions and we are definitely not taught how to transmute the negative emotion into positive emotions.

This is the bulk of my coaching work these days, helping people overcome the addiction to doing, and thinking and really tap into their dreams and desires. True dreams and desires live in the land of feelings and emotions, they are not the product of thinking. Living your fullest potential is a feeling thing, not a ‘thinking’ thing. In order for us to know ourselves intimately, we have to be willing to feel deeply. What are the things we do that feel amazing? What are the things we like that light us up inside? This level of living is scary for a lot of people who have achieved a lot of success in their lives by doing, running, and taking massive action. Effortless and flowing action is a result of deep heart connections to a desire, not thinking about it.

So what’s the purpose of negative emotions? Why is it so important to allow yourself to feel the negative emotions when they arise?

Your negative emotions are simply an indicator of you being out of alignment with the divine vision of yourself and the world around you. What does that mean? Well, when you perform poorly and you feel negative emotions about yourself, it is simply an indication that your point of view of yourself differs from the point of view of Infinite Intelligence (God, Source, Creator…) In the eyes of Divine Love you are perfect and growing and stretching and becoming more and more and more of who you are designed to be, and when you feel or think differently than that you feel really bad. And when you have negative feelings about yourself, everyone around you suffers because you snap at them.

Your negative emotions about yourself or anyone else is just an indication that you are not viewing the world as Life itself views the world. You are viewing the world through the lens of the personality and not through the lens of divinity.

I had a client once share that they were so upset that their daughter was going to marry a man that she thought was horrible for her daughter. She said he was too “Type A” uptight, and he was too domineering. She told her daughter more than once that she didn’t like him and she was afraid that he was going to ruin her daughter’s self-esteem. By the time she started working with me the daughter decided that she didn’t want my client seeing her granddaughter (from a previous marriage) as often as before because my client was acting too ‘controling’ and ‘domineering.’ Funny how it turns out like this.

When I shared with her that her she could use her negative feelings to show her where she had an opportunity to connect more with a divine point of view of her daughter, her future son-in-law and the situation, things started to change. It didn’t happen over night, however she soon became a powerful leader of compassion and non-judgment in her family and began to embody the understanding of, “What we BIND on earth, we BIND in heaven.” Instead of seeing her future son-in-law as a controlling & domineering person, she saw him as a compassionate, understanding and supportive man and treated him that way. She spoke words of affirmation to him when she saw his actions line up with this new belief. She saw him as perfect and growing and stretching and becoming more and more and more of who he was designed to be, without my client needing him to be who she thought he should be. This is very tricky to get on your own, however it can be done.

This client understood the power of positive emotions, and she knew that Infinite Intelligence views us as being perfect, however she hadn’t recognized the power of the negative emotions to show her exactly where miracles are waiting to happen. To this day, she feels this was a miracle in her life. I agree.

Miracles happen in the space were we give ourselves permission to see things with divine eyes.

So next time you are feeling negative about yourself or others, ask yourself, “How does Source see me?” “How does Source see others?”

I’m not saying condone bad behavior, I’m suggesting be willing to see the miraculous about life even when you don’t feel it. The negative feelings are there to point out where miracles are ready to happen.

Appreciating you and the work you do!

April 9, 2015
No More BS In Your Business

Stop the Business BS.

Please stop telling yourself you need a website before you start your business. Please stop looking towards social media to save you from low profits. Please stop thinking you have to send an email out every week in order to create clients.

None of this is true.

Unless you are in the website business, then you need a website. If your business is helping people make money via social media, then you should probably know how to make that work. And emails are great as long as you are sending something that is helpful.

It is BS to think that what works for other people will work for you.

What works is listening to your inner guidance and taking action.

What works is practicing self-appreciation. When you appreciate yourself fully, it is really hard to do anything that you don’t love!

What works is finding what works for you and putting your heart into it.

Keep things ridiculously simple, it is easier to see what is working and what is not.

March 30, 2015
What’s The Difference Between Self-Love & Self-Appreciation
By Dawn Nocera

Have you ever stopped to think about the difference between self-love and self-appreciation?

I thought it would be a good idea to share the subtle differences in today’s post.

A friend asked me about my recent Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation Retreat.

As the conversation went on, she asked me, “What is the difference between self-love and self-appreciation?”

She felt that she loved herself and yet she had a feeling that there was something different between the two.

The conversation reminded me of another one within a group of mine.

Here is a part of that conversation:

Q: “So, question, what is the difference between self-appreciation and self-love? I am drawn to write what I LOVE about myself rather than what I appreciate about myself. It feels deeper or more intense, or even more committed to me.
Does that work for folks if I stay with love over appreciation?” – Isabel P

My response: “Do what MOVES you to depths of YOU, Isabel. Most people throw the word “love” around as a way to escape their deepest feelings.

I just LOVE Sushi. Really I do! I’m committed to eating it as often as possible. I love it! When we use the word “appreciate”, we are committed to seeing the VALUE in it. So when I say, “I appreciate sushi.” I mean, “I see the value of sushi in my life. I really value the way it makes me feel. I value the sensuality of every bite I eat and how sensual I feel after eating a nice sushi meal. I see the value of eating protein that is clean in the way I feel after eating sushi.” When you can feel the value of being you, it can bring you to tears.

Even gratitude misses the mark for most people. It encourages people to look outside of themselves for the value in their lives. (I had a daily practice of gratitude for 10 years, I’m speaking from my truth.) Appreciation is a practice of seeing the VALUE in yourself.

It feels so weird to write “I appreciate myself.” I encourage you to give the word “appreciation” some attention try it for a week and see if you notice the difference. Appreciation also has a funny & natural way of revealing our blocks and limitations so we can deal with them when we are in a very positive self-loving vibe. Don’t take my word for it.”

Her Response: “Sure, I will give that a try . . . I have being doing a kind of self-journalling. My goal is to deepen my love and enthusiasm for who I am.”

I encouraged her to do both and see if she feels the difference between the two. Isabel is light years ahead of most people. She mentioned that she journaled daily about the many ways she loves herself. She has been journaling before she ever knew of me or Self-Appreciation.

It takes a lot of inner strength and vulnerability to share your strengths openly. The ego has a hard time staying in control of someone who really does love and appreciate themselves.

My friend and I talked about how most people think they love themselves, and yet they act in unloving and self-abusive ways.

One of the biggest reasons I am the pied piper of self-appreciation is because I intimately know it’s opposites, self-judgment and self-abuse. They show up in so many dysfunctional ways. If you’ve heard me speak in person, on a webinar, or on an interview, I talk more about this.

The Limits of “Love”

The unfortunate truth about self-love is that it is limited by our ability to receive or give unconditional love outside of ourselves. It is limited by our understanding of what love is based on our experiences, and the environments we grew up in. We even get comfortable saying, “I love you!” without meaning or feeling anything at all when we say it. I know I have. I’ve used, “I love this!,” as a way of expressing excitement without taking the time to feel the depths of love I have for it.

Love IS a Commitment.

Think about this for a minute. When you say, “I love you.” you are committing to someone and for most people that commitment comes with a subtle feeling of fear that you might lose the person you love someday! And that feeling of fear of losing love can push people away or keep us from deeply feeling how much we appreciate (feel the difference) the time we do have together.

People who are afraid of doing the work of self-appreciation are ultimately afraid of the depths of their own emotions. They mistakenly believe that they will have to dig up their dirt and dive deep into the shadow in order to truly appreciate themselves. It is really not necessary.

It is the feeling that expands us most that matters. Those are the feelings that let us know who we really are. Deep feelings that seem to touch the very soul of who we are.

When we say we love something, we are in a state of ‘comforting acceptance’ of what is when we would be better served by furthering the journey and diving deep into the work of self-appreciation.

Change Is The Domain of Self-Appreciation

When we appreciate ourselves we change. It is inevitable. I don’t know anyone who has truly done the work of self-appreciation and hasn’t experienced a profound transformation. And from what I can tell the fear of change is what keeps most people from doing “the WORK” of self-appreciation. Here are some of the changes people fear:
- They will be less ambitious and in turn less successful if they make self-appreciation a priority.
- They will lose the people they love. Somehow they will change and the ones they love will be ‘left behind.’
- They are afraid they will have to go dig up the trash of their past in order to appreciate their future.
- They are afraid they will waste time learning how to appreciate themselves.
- They are afraid people will find out that they aren’t already self-loving. “Hey, look how successful I am, it is obvious I love myself!”
- They are afraid to be vulnerable in public; it is so scary and such a huge risk to their reputation! (Did I mention that vulnerability is a HUGE piece of self-appreciation?)
- They are afraid if their ego loses its power they will fail, or have to move backwards.
- They are afraid that no one will understand what all this self-appreciation stuff is all about and they will be more lonely than ever before!
- This list is endless…
Here Is WHY Self-Appreciation is So Transformative

When you appreciate yourself you create a safe environment around you where transformation can easily happen.

Self-Appreciation is about recognizing the value you add to the world and as you appreciate yourself your value increases and so does your vibrational frequency! Self-appreciation is the only way I know of to transmute the energy of lower vibrations that keep people stuck in old habits and beliefs to higher and more sustainable vibrations that offer more freedom and expansion.

Self-Love = Acceptance
Self-Appreciation = EXPANSION!

Together they are a very powerful team.

To participate in the next Self-Appreciation Challenge go here.
March 25, 2015