Author: dawn

This month in one of my SASA groups, we were working on appreciating our core wound and how it helped us develop into the type of leaders we are today.   It lead me to deeper awareness of my what my shadow side really is and how it helped me emerge into who I am today.    

It seems like it’s taken me a lifetime to get to the point where I can appreciate my shadow side.  

Today feels like the perfect time to share the scary truth of what my shadow is and to share the actual “work” I did appreciating this shady side of me.

Here is the full Self-Appreciation post I shared in the SASA group:

“I appreciate the path I’ve taken as a rebel against ‘masculine leadership.’ I appreciate the new awareness of who I am as a leader though the lens of who I didn’t want to become as a child and the spiritual truth that “I am that too and always have been.” Meet my shadow, “the masculine know-it-all, my-way-or-the-highway, bow-to-me-guru type leader/emotionally unavailable parent who only values actions.”

I appreciate that I became a rebel, not listening to anything anyone had to say, learning everything on my own (so I didn’t have to be under the influence of anyone else).  I appreciate the emotions of rage that would rise in me when anyone was taken advantage of by a masculine bully type. I appreciate the journey I took as a kid to ‘stand up and fight’ any and all ‘authority or control that was exercised over other people or myself.

I appreciate myself for seeing the wisdom in how I chose to ‘fight the man’ and how my shadow grew out of the very fight I was in. I appreciate the years of self-abuse that I physically & emotionally caused myself for not being able to ‘control’ myself and not being able to be ‘perfect’ in my own eyes.

I appreciate the wisdom that has emerged that I was fighting my shadow. I was fighting “the masculine know-it-all, my-way-or-the-highway, bow-to-me-guru type leader/emotionally unavailable parent who only values actions” that was in me with a completely self-directed focus.

I appreciate the 10,000 foot view where I can see the reason I wanted to learn so much about personal development, success, and abundance was so I could learn more, do more, have more, be more than the masculine leaders who I was rebelling against.  I can see how I always wanted to beat them at their own game by having it all and do it completely different than they would ever imagine.

I wanted nothing more than to be free of projections, judgments, and emotional control that I felt from this type of leadership.  I can feel how ‘rebelling’ “wanting to beat them at their own game” set me up to create a shadow that mirrored the very thing I was fighting against!   Oh I so appreciate you, wise soul of mine! I appreciate myself for never losing sight too long of my spiritual journey. I appreciate myself for always having a safe place to feel loved by the universe and by my parents and family-even as I rebelled.

I appreciate the comfort and wisdom that began to come to me as I stopped listening to everyone else and stopped rebelling against everyone else and started listening to my intuition.

I appreciate that my kids initiated me into an entirely new world of intuition and trust and an entirely new type of leadership.   Before having kids I thought I was intuitive, after having kids I didn’t have to think about my intuition.  Guidance arrived when it was needed for one purpose, “help them grow and expand and live their life purpose’s free of my projections, judgments or control.”   I appreciate how each one of my kids initiated me into a new layer of feminine leadership that I didn’t know was possible before they were born. I didn’t have a model to follow.

I appreciate that the very thing I was petrified to do (have kids) is the very thing that transformed me in ways that no personal development work, coaching, or library of books could have possibly done.  I appreciate myself for committing to doing the work of self-appreciation that continues to come through guidance and how unbelievable it is that one simple tool is effectively and easily helping me integrate my shadow in a self-honoring way.

I appreciate the clarity I have around what kind of leader I am NOT and clarity around how I’m integrating and evolving that form of leadership into something that is loving, amazing, and holds the space with grace and ease for my clients.

I appreciate a deeper understanding of how the masculine-know-it-all-guru-emotionally-unavailable-parent leader in me shows up at the perfect most loving times to interrupt patterns, create structure for change, and on occasion battle some dragons.

My shadow isn’t so scary.  It is a huge blessing and allows me to be conscious of, and master, a more harmonious type of leadership that has been emerging through me.

“Self-Appreciation helps you face your shadow.”

I appreciate myself for playing in the field of expanding consciousness of what feminine and harmonious leadership is for 20 years, getting it wrong, getting it right, making a mess, stepping back, stepping-up, leaning-in, dancing with my own expression of leadership and settling in to what feels to me to be the only real work I’m here to do, appreciate myself and help others appreciate themselves.

I appreciate the awareness that I can be in a my-way-or-the-highway role and still be loving, supportive and kind.

I deeply appreciate Jeffrey VanDyk for his work in helping me uncover much of what is written above. Lots of layers of awareness coming together to help me appreciate where I’ve been, who I’m meant to serve, and what my next level calling really is.”

For years I taught a weekly Law of Attraction workshop and we practiced ‘gratitude as a way to set our vibration to attract more of what we want in our lives.  Since then, I’ve found that gratitude misses the mark for me and I practiced gratitude consistently for 10 years.

Here is why…

Gratitude says, “Thanks for being in my life. I like having you here.” Appreciation says, “I see the VALUE in your presence in my life. I get you. You increase who I am.”

Most of us are looking outside of ourselves when we think of gratitude.  I’m grateful for my car (out there) I’m grateful for the sun, food, water, electric… etc.  They are all outside of yourself.  And if you understand the law of attraction, what you put your attention on is your attraction point.  (Go back and read that last sentence again.)  When your attention is out there being grateful for something that is outside of yourself you have to do a lot of work to bridge that gap. However, if you attention is on self-appreciation FIRST, you are setting your point of attraction to YOU.   The people who manifest the easiest are those that have a deep sense of self-love and self-appreciation and they manifest from the most fertile garden of attraction.

“If you attention is on self-appreciation FIRST, you are setting your point of attraction to YOU.”

Appreciate yourself!   YOU are your point of attraction. YOU are the center of YOUR universe. YOU are the light you seek. There is nothing that needs to be fixed or figured out other than how can you love and appreciate yourself more.  Seriously.

I know there is nothing I can do to convince you that BIG changes come from this simple practice.   This is why all of the work I do now is ONLY with other Luminary mentors, coaches, and leaders who want to grow in life, or in their business and who are committed to doing the work of self-appreciation and want grow to love themselves more and more every day.

This is so much more than self-care, this is the work that keeps you on your luminary path.

One of my luminary clients who works in a government agency asked me how to use self-appreciation to help her feel better about Mondays.  She was struggling with the day-to-day of a very challenging work life while she is creating the life of her dreams.  

I asked her what part of the day was the most challenging.   She laughed and said, “Getting out of bed!”

“Great!  That is the perfect place to start appreciating yourself!”

When you are just starting out on your luminary journey, a part of you knows that you can create the life you want, and the other part of you is still living a life you are wanting to grow out of.  I remember feeling this way many times in my life.   It is the feeling of living in the gap between reality and possibility.  It can be dark and lonely.

This is the perfect place to practice the sacred art of self-appreciation, when you notice you are not where you want to be.

I remember those days.

Here is what I suggested to help her beat the Monday morning blues.

Appreciate yourself for being aware that you don’t want to wake up and go to work.

Appreciate yourself for feeling frustrated with yourself, for feeling anger at your boss, for feeling like you don’t want to work another day.

Appreciate yourself for always having a choice.  Appreciate that you could stay home if you really wanted to.  Appreciate yourself for playing with the idea of just quitting.  Appreciate yourself for your power to choose:  In bed, or out of bed.  Appreciate yourself for being alive (though if you are suicidal this may not help, so don’t think about it.)  Appreciate yourself for taking the time to appreciate yourself before you get up.

“Self-Appreciation can help you overcome the Monday Morning Blues.”

Then if you feel like venturing out a little broader, ask yourself,  “What makes me amazing?” Then appreciate all of the amazing things about yourself that have nothing to do with going to work.

For instance this client/friend I am referring to here is so AMAZING!  She LOVES life and loves meeting new people.  She can connect with anyone and loves to hear people’s stories. Although she is working in a government job that she may not enjoy on Monday mornings, the rest of her life is full of adventures in meeting and interviewing other adventurous people.

When I used to do my morning work around gratitude, I would start with my toes, “I am grateful for my toes.” and then I’d move up my body and show gratitude to every inch of my body.   My work with self-appreciation has so dramatically changed my inner world, that I happily appreciate my toes and every inch of my body.   The vibration of appreciation includes the vibration of gratitude, who knew!

A part of us is always emerging and growing into more of who we are designed to be, so you can use self-appreciation as a tool to help you be present to where you are and navigate the deep waters of the gap between where you are and where you really want to be.

Reasons To Do The Work Of Self-Appreciation

“The beauty of doing the work of self-appreciation is it keeps you in the present moment. Breathing and appreciating yourself right where you are. helps you appreciate the present moment.” 

“Self-Appreciation helps you stay mindful of the present moment.”

Mindfulness is such a powerful tool for living.  The first time I discovered the power of mindfulness was at a mastermind retreat in 2011.  That experience led me to write a very short eBook, Manifesting Mindfulness. The book helps remind me how to be fully in the present moment while moving forward in life.

Doing the work of self-Appreciation helps me be mindful of the present moment. It gives me an opportunity to dive through the waves of emotions that lie just under the surface at any given moment.  “The WORK” of self-appreciation is sharing with others what you appreciate about yourself.  Practicing self-appreciation throughout the day helps keep your mind on what you appreciate about yourself in each moment in time.

As I practice self-appreciation for this moment, I appreciate myself for writing this blog post.  I appreciate myself for writing one reason to do the work of self-appreciation.  I also appreciate that being present now reminds me of my eBook. It’s another thing I appreciate about myself in this moment.  I appreciate myself for seeing the value in publishing that short eBook and not getting caught up in thinking that the value of a book is measured in how many pages it contains.  I appreciate myself for sharing a tiny part of my journey with others.

It feels like I am giving back to the universe and that feels really good.

Share what you appreciate about yourself below. Three times a year I do a Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation Challenge during Mercury Retrograde. It is a great way for you to practice self-appreciation while being witnessed by others in a group.

It’s been a few months it seems since I’ve felt the creative impulse to post something that might help you in living your luminary life.  And today I was given an inspiring, fun, and overwhelming blog writing assignment from my spiritual team.  And I’m not sure it is possible.   

So I did what has become a way of life for me, I sat down at my computer and I did  ‘the work’ of self-appreciation.

That is what we do as luminaries, we do our sacred inner work.  My inner work, just happens to be the Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation and “the work” of self-appreciation is all about sharing what you appreciate about yourself in safe place where there are other people doing the work along side you.

So I sat down and wrote what I appreciate about myself and this seemingly impossible blog posting assignment.

Here is what I wrote:

“I appreciate myself for struggling to write my blog lately. I really have been wanting to write, however everything I think of writing doesn’t feel aligned or quite right. There was a time when I would have just done it and wrote something, anything, for the sake of doing what I “should” do. I appreciate the struggle and how hard it has been to align because the struggle, prompted me to ask for help from my spiritual team.
A few days ago, maybe a week or two, I asked for ideas on what to write that would feel aligned and help me gain momentum in the direction I feel called and I want to go. Today as I sat down to read posts here and to look at my blog to see if anyone is even visiting my site these days,  I received an inspiration that felt more like a directive, “Write 777 Reasons to Do the Work of Self-Appreciation” and post them to my blog.
777?!
Then I looked up the number 777 and it was all about receiving divine support for my life purpose and my work! YAY! So here I am, with this inspired assignment and appreciating myself for feeling not so aligned with the writing and still appreciating myself for receiving something that feels aligned with where I’m going. I’m becoming a master at looking for the easy and effortless path (which is the aligned and activated path). I appreciate that I don’t have to jump into doing, nor is it good for me to jump into doing. I appreciate that I can sit with this and find the easy and effortless path to allowing 777 reasons to appreciate “myself” to naturally start writing themselves. I also appreciate the feeling of being in masterful relationship with who I am. That feels really good. I feel really good and really expanded. I appreciate me. “

777 is actually a big number.  It is over 2 years worth of blog posts.  My mind wonders is it possible?  Are there 777 reasons to do the work of Self-Appreciation?   The beauty of actually doing the work of self-appreciation is it keeps you in the present moment, breathing and appreciating yourself right were you are whether you know the answers or not.  I can honestly say, I am not sure I will find the end of the 777 reasons to do ‘the work’ of self-appreciation, however I am leaning in and committing to writing just ONE reason today.  And if you noticed, I already did.