Category: Life Coaching

Stop Manifesting What You Don’t Want

How to stop manifesting what you don’t want.

I was talking to a client while I was at the All Life Center here in central Ohio and I was drinking a cup of coffee (surprise!) Anyway the topic began to hover around attracting what we don’t want.

Like I said, I was drinking a cup of coffee. The coffee I was drinking wasn’t my favorite (Duncan Donuts) nor was the mug I was drinking from my favorite mug, however I was still able to enjoy myself and beautiful day and the rich conversation.

What happens for a lot of people is that the moment they notice they are experiencing anything other than what they really want, they begin to head down the slippery road of self-sabotage. They begin feeling bad that they can’t stop manifesting what they don’t want in life.

Take my coffee mug for instance. It was almost the exact same mug I love and have at home, except it was green. My favorite coffee mug at home is robin’s egg blue. I love it so much I purchased 6 of them in total at 6 different times. The green mug I was drinking from was not my favorite color at all.

Let’s imagine for a moment that I have been working on manifesting Robin’s egg blue coffee mugs just like my favorite one every time I have a cup of coffee, but this time the mug was green. There are 2 distinct roads I can take. One leads to that slippery road of self-sabotage and more of what I don’t want- more green mugs, and the other leads to more enjoyment and more of what I do want-more robin’s egg blue mugs.

Most people believe that manifesting what we want is done sometime in the future or long before what we want arrives. But truly the BEST time to change the course of what you are manifesting is when you are in the experience of having what you don’t want. You want to break the habits of thought that fuel the attraction of what you don’t want. The best time to break a habit is when you are in the middle of it and consciously choosing to do (or in our case think) something different.

I’m using the example of a coffee mug to make a point. I have no emotional attachment to what kind of mug I manifest, so it is much easier to shift my attention to the color I do want. When we deal with people, personalities and activation or triggering energy, we seem to want to blame someone for the ‘horrible’ experience of drinking coffee out of a green mug. This sets us up to travel down the self-sabotaging path that leads once again to our manifesting more green coffee mugs!

For years, I did the most horrible things to myself when I was having an experience of manifesting what I didn’t want. I would walk away from what I didn’t want and I’d reason and judge myself as unworthy of experiencing what I really wanted. I would remember all of the times I had negative thoughts and doubts and I’d blame myself for manifesting the wrong thing. I would think there was something wrong with me for not figuring out how to get what I really want by now. I would imagine that I was being punished for something I did as a kid. Then I’d go to work, I’d work harder on my mental game. I’d set goals and create blue coffee mug vision boards, I’d write, “I am so happy and grateful now that I only drink out of Robin’s Egg blue coffee mugs.” I’d work intensely on my mindset for 21 then 40 days, “I can manifest, blue coffee mugs.” “I am worthy of blue coffee mugs.” I would even have deeply spiritual experiences of being ONE with Robin’s Egg Blue Coffee mugs. I’d do mirror work and feel myself experiencing those coffee mugs in as many ways as I could imagine! I worked my tail off trying to manifest what I really wanted.

Imagine how upset I was each time I didn’t get what I wanted! It was an endless spiral of every one else getting what they wanted except me! The whole time I was activating those around me to receive the wealth and wisdom they were asking for.

Start Manifesting What You DO Want

When I notice that I’m attracting something I don’t want, I explore how I feel about it. The more triggered I am and turned off by not having what I want, the more I’m aware that I’m resisting the ACTIVATIONS that are being triggered by what I do have, in this case an unwanted green coffee mug. There are treasures waiting to be revealed in those disappointed, pissed-off, angry emotions.

Now when I want to attract robin’s egg blue coffee mugs, I go about living my life in the most enjoyable way I know how. And if I attract a green coffee mug instead of a blue one, I no longer travel the path of self-sabotage and self-judgment. I am committed to the luminary path, the path that liberates me from past programming and conditional living that keeps me stuck. I let self-appreciation guide me through my feelings. I acknowledge all of my feelings about attracting green coffee mugs, and I don’t dwell in them. I seek the wisdom that is in me, and that wants to emerge from within the emotions and the feelings. If I’m sad, I feel my sadness and appreciate myself for being courageous enough to be with the emotions until the magic that is usually on the other side of the emotions can see the light of day.

When I’m emotionally charged, triggered by anything in my environment, I don’t try to manifest something completely different right away. I go inward and I ask the tough questions, what is this anger hiding? What activation am I resisting? What light and I not revealing? I do this without making myself wrong for having feelings.

When I’m in the space of appreciating what is, I can appreciate myself for who I am.

I begin to appreciate myself and the space I’m in and I create the space and vision where robin’s egg blue coffee mugs are all there is. Eventually, I begin to notice how similar the green mug is to the blue one I really want. I give thanks that I’m attracting clear evidence that I am open to receiving blue coffee mugs. “Look, this mug is exactly the same shape and size as the blue one I want. How awesome is that!” I appreciate myself for how far I’ve come and how good I feel right now in this very moment. I appreciate myself for continuing to believe that I’m a powerful magnet to all sorts of good things. I appreciate myself for listening in school and learning that that GREEN is actually made of blue and yellow. Instead of measuring my progress by what I am manifesting, I now measure my progress by how I feel no matter what I am manifesting and how confident I feel in my ability to be authentic about how I really feel. Now when I’m frustrated, I surrender and turn over the image of robin’s egg blue coffee mugs to my guides and I LISTEN to my intuition and I LISTEN to the energy all around me. I don’t worry about robin’s egg blue coffee mugs. I connect with the WISDOM of all the colors of mugs and I take action on inspiration and my inner nudges. I appreciate all the support and help I receive. I appreciate myself for being more and more open to receiving all of my desires and most importantly I give myself a break. I don’t go looking for what is wrong with me, or what resistance I may still have. I embrace the new wisdom that is emerging about myself and the world. I allow my conditional paradigms to shift to a more unconditional beliefs about possibility and opportunity.

And I wait. I wait until I feel an inner peace and I wait until that inner wisdom nudges me forward in the direction of the feeling of drinking from robin’s egg blue coffee mugs.

The BEST time to shift your habits of thought to something different is when you are in the middle of thinking them.

I’m talking about attracting coffee mugs, but you can substitute anything you want and see how this helps you shift how you feel about yourself when you don’t have what you want. It could be the guy, the house, the car, the job, the health. It doesn’t really matter. The goal is to shift how you feel about yourself in the present moment, with or without what you want.

June 24, 2016
5 Steps to Making Decisions in Business

When you are made a decision to build a business you began a process of attraction. Most people think that just because they made a decision to build a business, they will attract clients who want to throw money at them.

Wishful thinking!

What actually happens when you make a decision, is you begin to attract opportunities. Your decision to grow a business, make money, find more love, really when you make any decision about anything in your life, you begin to attract an abundance of opportunities that lead you to the next step towards manifesting what you want.

And that is GOOD!

But how do you make a luminary decision and discern the difference between an opportunity for growth and an opportunity to stay on the hamster wheel of frustration and overwhelm?

Years ago I had a conversation with a client who felt called to become a public speaker. At the time of our conversation he was already highly skilled and passionate about speaking and his income from speaking wasn’t quiet enough to quit his day job. His desire to answer the call to become a public speaker put him in a high vibrational state where he was attracting a lot of opportunities and he was having a hard time making a decision about which opportunity to say yes to, if any. I think at the time he had 3 firm opportunities in front of him all of which would have been great in some way, but they were all pointing in slightly different directions. I don’t remember the details exactly, but two were different job opportunities to work for two different non-profit organizations, both would allow him to travel and speak. The other was a higher paying job that would allow him to use his leadership skills more, but didn’t include any public speaking. He told me how frustrated and overwhelmed he was trying to decide which opportunity to say yes too. He was feeling a lot of pressure to decide. He told me, “I don’t want to make the wrong decision and I’m afraid that if I don’t make a decision now the opportunities will pass.”

After I explained that he can’t make the wrong decision because all opportunities come from Source and all opportunities are for his personal expansion, so they all lead to something pretty amazing, we were able to look at the opportunities individually. I also explained that the direction the opportunity will flow is set based on our vibrational state at the time we make the decision. Decisions made from a place of fear will attract more to fear. Decisions made from the point of view of scarcity will attract more scarcity. Decisions made from a place of expansion and possibility and trust, will lead to more expansion, possibility and trust. That is how the law of attraction works. Our ability to choose is our most powerful superpower.

I shared this five step decision making process that can really help you line up your energy with Source so you can make an empowered choice and feel confident in your choice:

Step One: Identify the Opportunity.

Go through the opportunities in front of you one at a time. With this client, I had him list each opportunity and look at each one individually to see where his energy was most aligned. I encouraged him to list everything he knew about each opportunity.

Step Two: Ask yourself “ Do I WANT to do this?”

When I asked my client, “Do you want to do this?” He said yes to each of the opportunities except the one where he would make more money and not have opportunities to speak. I didn’t cross it off the list yet as I wasn’t 100% sure he was saying no to it from a vibration of abundance.

Step Three: Ask Yourself, “Do I feel guided, or called to say yes to this opportunity?”

This is the most powerful question, especially for luminary leaders who are experienced in knowing how they really feel. An opportunity that will get you closer to your calling and your life purpose, will have sort of a pull of attraction that goes beyond mental reasoning. Your body will feel like it is magnetically attracted to the opportunity, as if it were actually calling you forward through an invisible force. For this client, he felt called to one of the non-profit positions that required him to speak to large groups of people.

Step Four: Ask Yourself, “Does this opportunity add more life to everyone involved?”

This question should be an easy one to answer, however there are a lot of coaches, mentors, and leaders who are operating out of integrity with themselves. Divine opportunities that are truly designed to move you closer to or expand your life’s work will add more life to everyone involved. The person who is bringing you the opportunity will be increased, your family will be increased, you will be increased, and any 3rd parties will be increased by a divine opportunity. If the opportunity is one where you feel you are getting something for nothing then check in with your guidance or ask the person bringing the opportunity to you what do they expect to gain from the opportunity. Listen to your heart. Alignment will be easy if the opportunity is something where everyone is increased by your decision. In the case of my client, one of the non-profit positions felt like the opportunity was given to him from out of a scarcity mindset where he would not be valued as much as he would be at the other non-profit position.

Step Five: Ask Yourself, “Does this opportunity violate the rights of others? Does it take away their right to choose? Will anyone be harmed?”

This is another question that should really go without question. None of the opportunities took away anyone’s right to choose, nor did they harm anyone, or violate their rights, however the question did create an opening for him to talk to his wife more openly about what the opportunity he felt called to take might mean for them as a family. Thankfully he was skilled in authentically sharing what he really wanted with his wife and she was will him so they were able to both participate in the decision making process even though in the end it really was my client’s choice.

In the end, my client chose one of the non-profit positions and he traveled and spoke to about 50 audiences in one year. He started being invited to speak to other audiences and now he makes his living as a full time public speaker.

April 11, 2016
Doesn’t Appreciating What You Don’t Want Attract More Of It?

Dawn, I’m sure I’ve asked you this before. But doesn’t appreciating yourself or appreciating anything that is circumstantially not what you want by the law of attraction drawing more of that what you don’t want to you?

I thought it would be helpful to break down my experience of how self-appreciation and the law of attraction work together so you can get to the place of understanding.

Some background about my work with the law of attraction and manifesting so you have a framework for where I’ve been:

I taught a weekly Law of Attraction class for 6 years, facilitated Think and Grow Rich Mastermind Groups for over 10 years, and explored the consciousness of manifesting very seriously most of my life. I have personally manifested money, clients, relationships, world travel, lasting friendships, jobs, etc. And I’ve helped a lot of successful people manifest a lot more success in their work.

My mentors and coaches in manifesting and the law of attraction have been some amazing people, Bob Proctor, Joe Vitale, Lynne Twist, Dr Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield, Edwene Gaines, and a long list of ‘dead people’ including Napoleon Hill, who to this day ‘shouts’ at me to share the deeper truths in his work more often. But that is another story.

I guess what I’m trying to convey is that I’m highly qualified to help people manifest what they want. This is the easiest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

There is a myth about the law of attraction that really stops people from evolving beyond their current vibrational frequency. The myth or belief is that negative thinking will somehow lower your vibrational frequency and that is not true at tall. Negative thinking simply keeps you at your current level of belief. And your current level of belief sets your vibrational frequency.

I won’t go into the law of attraction here, other than to say it works all the time and learning to be aware of how you feel is crucial to learning how to master the law of attraction and creating the life that you want. But my experience is that after people watch “The Secret”, read books about the law of attraction, and try to “Think and Grow Rich” stay stuck in their mind… Thinking of how to get rich and thinking of how to take the next step. They may even think their way into taking a lot of action, and taking giant leaps, but they never really get to the point where they can change their internal state along with their external circumstances.

Basically, they use their thoughts to help escape their emotions. They act as if they are afraid of real honest grief, or emotional pain. Let me pause this train of thought long enough to say there is value in thinking as long as it helps you feel good, as long as it is helping you find the emotion, the passion, the desire, the SOUL of what you are doing. When you use thought to help you hide your emotional state and the way you really feel deep down inside, it doesn’t help in the long run. I know this state of escape all too well.

I used to be so ‘afraid’ of feeling the negative emotions that I’d push them down, hide them and imagine that If hey didn’t see the light of day, they didn’t exist. The more I tried to hide those negative emotions (anger, rage, boredom, fear, sadness, etc) the more powerfully they would emerge when I least expected them. The more I tried to hide them the more I missed the opportunity to be honest with myself about what was really going on in me.

When I got the clear message, that all I needed to do was appreciate myself through all of my emotional waves, the more I felt empowered to claim my emotional self and not deny that part of me. Everything changed in my life when I stopped being afraid of my emotions and how I feel. It was so awkward at first and it took a lot of vulnerability but I did it and I now I welcome those moments of conflict and chaos that used to send me running. I appreciate myself for being willing to look at the shadow side of who I am without fear.

When you surround anything with appreciation you are honoring it and allowing it to show you it’s deepest truth. Then and only then, will it be honored and released of it’s grip. I was told through a series of meditations, a series of shaman, and gifted intuitives that my work with self-appreciation is the technology that allows us to participate in our own evolution. It helps us release the old, accept the now, let go/surrender what we can’t control, AND it is the same tool that helps us gain clarity of what we really want as opposed to what we think we should want (this is a huge evolutionary block for a lot of people!)

It also helps us align with what we really want AND it helps us integrate the new frequencies we are creating by being aligned with the NOW. Which is the greatest power of The Sacred Art of Self-Appreciaiton-it helps us learn to be grounded in the NOW and feel the possibility of what wants to emerge from the moment. The only power we can access is the power of the NOW.

The coolest natural result of Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation is that our superpowers come online and we activate our own DNA= Divine Natural Alignment. Source LOVES the full range of emotions and is never afraid of the darkest feelings because Source appreciates them as a part of our natural expansion!

Without appreciating ourselves and being aware of how we truly feel, those emotions get packed back in to our subconscious and each time we deny our feelings they become a denser and greater unconscious ‘attractive’ force. I’m sure you’ve heard, “What you resist persists.” It happens with emotions and people just don’t know what to do with them. They feel powerless and afraid of how they feel, and in truth our Power comes from our feelings.

The question I offered in response to this question is, “How do you feel about the changes in you since doing the work of self-appreciation? Do you feel more connected to yourself? Do you feel more capable of creating the life you want?” Most people who do the work of self-appreciation become attuned to their own emotional state and they can feel the subtle energies of fear coming long before they become a problem and they no longer hide from how they really are.

If you can embrace your emotions, you can use your mind to help you create subtle shift in how you feel about yourself and then you can create the life you want without apology.

The truth is when you appreciate yourself the universe response by sending you all the support you need to be MORE of who you really are. And you are really an amazing light in the world.

Share what you appreciate about yourself below. Three times a year I do a Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation Challenge during Mercury Retrograde. It is a great way for you to practice self-appreciation while being witnessed by others in a group.

March 28, 2016
What’s The Difference Between Self-Love & Self-Appreciation
By Dawn Nocera

Have you ever stopped to think about the difference between self-love and self-appreciation?

I thought it would be a good idea to share the subtle differences in today’s post.

A friend asked me about my recent Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation Retreat.

As the conversation went on, she asked me, “What is the difference between self-love and self-appreciation?”

She felt that she loved herself and yet she had a feeling that there was something different between the two.

The conversation reminded me of another one within a group of mine.

Here is a part of that conversation:

Q: “So, question, what is the difference between self-appreciation and self-love? I am drawn to write what I LOVE about myself rather than what I appreciate about myself. It feels deeper or more intense, or even more committed to me.
Does that work for folks if I stay with love over appreciation?” – Isabel P

My response: “Do what MOVES you to depths of YOU, Isabel. Most people throw the word “love” around as a way to escape their deepest feelings.

I just LOVE Sushi. Really I do! I’m committed to eating it as often as possible. I love it! When we use the word “appreciate”, we are committed to seeing the VALUE in it. So when I say, “I appreciate sushi.” I mean, “I see the value of sushi in my life. I really value the way it makes me feel. I value the sensuality of every bite I eat and how sensual I feel after eating a nice sushi meal. I see the value of eating protein that is clean in the way I feel after eating sushi.” When you can feel the value of being you, it can bring you to tears.

Even gratitude misses the mark for most people. It encourages people to look outside of themselves for the value in their lives. (I had a daily practice of gratitude for 10 years, I’m speaking from my truth.) Appreciation is a practice of seeing the VALUE in yourself.

It feels so weird to write “I appreciate myself.” I encourage you to give the word “appreciation” some attention try it for a week and see if you notice the difference. Appreciation also has a funny & natural way of revealing our blocks and limitations so we can deal with them when we are in a very positive self-loving vibe. Don’t take my word for it.”

Her Response: “Sure, I will give that a try . . . I have being doing a kind of self-journalling. My goal is to deepen my love and enthusiasm for who I am.”

I encouraged her to do both and see if she feels the difference between the two. Isabel is light years ahead of most people. She mentioned that she journaled daily about the many ways she loves herself. She has been journaling before she ever knew of me or Self-Appreciation.

It takes a lot of inner strength and vulnerability to share your strengths openly. The ego has a hard time staying in control of someone who really does love and appreciate themselves.

My friend and I talked about how most people think they love themselves, and yet they act in unloving and self-abusive ways.

One of the biggest reasons I am the pied piper of self-appreciation is because I intimately know it’s opposites, self-judgment and self-abuse. They show up in so many dysfunctional ways. If you’ve heard me speak in person, on a webinar, or on an interview, I talk more about this.

The Limits of “Love”

The unfortunate truth about self-love is that it is limited by our ability to receive or give unconditional love outside of ourselves. It is limited by our understanding of what love is based on our experiences, and the environments we grew up in. We even get comfortable saying, “I love you!” without meaning or feeling anything at all when we say it. I know I have. I’ve used, “I love this!,” as a way of expressing excitement without taking the time to feel the depths of love I have for it.

Love IS a Commitment.

Think about this for a minute. When you say, “I love you.” you are committing to someone and for most people that commitment comes with a subtle feeling of fear that you might lose the person you love someday! And that feeling of fear of losing love can push people away or keep us from deeply feeling how much we appreciate (feel the difference) the time we do have together.

People who are afraid of doing the work of self-appreciation are ultimately afraid of the depths of their own emotions. They mistakenly believe that they will have to dig up their dirt and dive deep into the shadow in order to truly appreciate themselves. It is really not necessary.

It is the feeling that expands us most that matters. Those are the feelings that let us know who we really are. Deep feelings that seem to touch the very soul of who we are.

When we say we love something, we are in a state of ‘comforting acceptance’ of what is when we would be better served by furthering the journey and diving deep into the work of self-appreciation.

Change Is The Domain of Self-Appreciation

When we appreciate ourselves we change. It is inevitable. I don’t know anyone who has truly done the work of self-appreciation and hasn’t experienced a profound transformation. And from what I can tell the fear of change is what keeps most people from doing “the WORK” of self-appreciation. Here are some of the changes people fear:
- They will be less ambitious and in turn less successful if they make self-appreciation a priority.
- They will lose the people they love. Somehow they will change and the ones they love will be ‘left behind.’
- They are afraid they will have to go dig up the trash of their past in order to appreciate their future.
- They are afraid they will waste time learning how to appreciate themselves.
- They are afraid people will find out that they aren’t already self-loving. “Hey, look how successful I am, it is obvious I love myself!”
- They are afraid to be vulnerable in public; it is so scary and such a huge risk to their reputation! (Did I mention that vulnerability is a HUGE piece of self-appreciation?)
- They are afraid if their ego loses its power they will fail, or have to move backwards.
- They are afraid that no one will understand what all this self-appreciation stuff is all about and they will be more lonely than ever before!
- This list is endless…
Here Is WHY Self-Appreciation is So Transformative

When you appreciate yourself you create a safe environment around you where transformation can easily happen.

Self-Appreciation is about recognizing the value you add to the world and as you appreciate yourself your value increases and so does your vibrational frequency! Self-appreciation is the only way I know of to transmute the energy of lower vibrations that keep people stuck in old habits and beliefs to higher and more sustainable vibrations that offer more freedom and expansion.

Self-Love = Acceptance
Self-Appreciation = EXPANSION!

Together they are a very powerful team.

To participate in the next Self-Appreciation Challenge go here.
March 25, 2015
How to Activate The Most Empowering Superpower In The Universe

Have you ever wished you had access to some superhuman superpower that would make you all-powerful and aid you leaping tall buildings with a single bound, or simply overcome some mountainous obstacle in your life?

Well, the crazy truth is you do have the power to overcome obstacles and make massive change in your life and if you really wanted to leap a tall building in a single bound, you could do it too. The only thing you need to learn is how to activate the most empowering superpower in the universe.

I’m not talking about some magical superpower like the biological regeneration, molecular manipulation, or even a super-sonic scream, what I’m referring to is something that everyone has access to however most people have no idea how to use this superpower to their benefit or to the benefit of others.

Have you guessed what this superpower is yet?

If you guessed that your power of choice is the most empowering superpower in the universe, then you are 100% correct!

Your power to consciously choose is the most empowering superpower you’ll ever need to develop. When you consciously use your power to choose, you stop being a victim of circumstances, events, and situations in life. You become the master of every moment in your life.

When you consciously choose a path or a direction in life, you are empowered to ask for and receive help. You give yourself permission to do what you want instead of doing the things you think you “should” do. You always have a choice in how you feel, how you respond, what action you will take, and where you want to go in life.

The biggest mind disease is thinking we don’t have a choice, when in fact we always have a choice. Some decisions are harder to make than others, however there are always options.

Here are some powerful north star choices:
“I choose me!”
“I choose expansion.”
“I choose LOVE!”
“I choose to be loving.”
“I choose to receive love!”
“I choose clarity.”
“I choose life.”
“I choose to create.”
“I choose to trust.”
“I choose to have faith.”
“I choose to hope for better things.”

And my favorite, “I choose ease!”

Of all these, the most powerful choice we have is choosing LOVE & Appreciation for ourselves.

March 19, 2015
What is an Activation Statement?
If you love affirmations and you enjoy the shifts they help you create in your life, you’ll love Activations. After posting a simple image post with an #Activation, I received some feedback and a few questions regarding the difference between the two. I wanted to share that conversation with you…

Here is a look at the post I shared about Purpose #Activations on Facebook:

‪#‎ACTIVATED‬

So What Are Activations?
- Activations are powerful statements with the sole/soul purpose of Activating your DNA – Divine Natural Alignment(TM).
- Activations “turn on” the lights of who you already are.
- Activations feel powerful the first time you say them, because they come from a place of power within you.
What is the difference between an Activation and an Affirmation?

Here is a piece of the conversation that deeped the awareness of the power of Activations:

So, What Is The Difference?
- Affirmations are convincing statements, designed to convince ourselves through “I am” statements.
- Activations are statements of truth, they “turn you on” when you say them.
- The most powerful activation statements start with “I am activated!”
- Affirmations are designed to help you change your perception of what is.
- Activations are designed to help you own the power of your truth so you can take action that flows with ease from you.
- Activations don’t have to start with “I am.”
- Activaitons ignite higher frequencies and powerful emotions.
Here are some great #Activations to help you Activate (Turn on) your DNA Divine Natural Alignment(TM).

“I am activated to peace, joy, and fun in my life.”

“I am activated to share my gifts and my light.”

“I rock!” (One of my favorites!)

“I was born for this!”

“I activate truth in this situation.”

“I am activated to higher and higher freqencies!”

You almost want to put an exclaimation point(!) at the end of each activation statement. They make you feel that good.

Affirmations without the feelings have no power, which is why learning about activation statements can really help. I love affirmations and activations. The real magic is in choosing statements that trigger feelings that light you up and make you feel more YOU!

My personal activation statement helps me stay focused on the value I provide to the world. “I activate Self-Appreciation!” And it keeps me moving, and sharing, and connecting with more people who want to activate the magic in their world.

Oh, If you want to connect with Cindy and read her affirmations book or view her activating art (yes, art activates!) you can find her at CindyHeadley.com, or check out her book on Amazon.

If you want to connect to your activation code and your soul’s purpose, consider scheduling an Activation Code Reading Session here.
February 12, 2015
Stop Trying To Figure This Out

Dearest Luminary Entrepreneur, The hardest thing you’ll ever do is to stop trying to fix it. (whatever “it” is.) There is nothing to fix, or figure out. Your expansion and alignment come from being at peace with where you are. Feel yourself feel those feelings. Transmute the thoughts of “I should be farther along than this!” to “Look how far I’ve come!”

Please, stop trying to figure out what is wrong with you. There is NOTHING wrong with you. I appreciate you. The only work you need to do is appreciate yourself. And when the ego says, “I could never do that!” That is when you dive deep and learn to appreciate yourself the most. In ALL of my years of learning, praying, growing, studying, mastering the mind, writing, then teaching, and training, and coaching, and speaking, and creating, NOTHING has made as big of an impact on my life than the work of self-appreciation. This is not just true for me, it is true for the people I’ve shared the sacred art of self-appreciation with. You can’t own your greatness until you accept and appreciate yourself where you are.

There is a lot of talk about ‘gratitude,’ however I’ve found that gratitude misses the mark for me and I practed gratitude (still do to some extent) consistently for 10 years. Gratitude says, “Thanks for being in my life. I like having you here.” Appreciation says, “I see the VALUE in your presence in my life. I get you. You increase who I am.” Discovering the value of yourself is the work of self-appreciation. You don’t see it all at once, however when you practice appreciating yourself daily, through writing, sharing with others how you appreciate yourself, you release all of the “shoulds” in your life and you find your authentic desires. The law of desire sets in an you can’t help but grow with more ease and grace. You have more faith in your direction, a clearer mind, an open heart, and you become aware that everything you’ve been looking for is right there inside of you all the time.

I hear you asking for help to find what is broken in you. The only thing that is broken is your ability to love and appreciate yourself.

You think your abilty to manifest is broken? No, just your ability to appreciate yourself. You think your confidence is broken? No, just your ability to authentically appreciate yourself. You think your relationship is broken? No, just your ability to appreciate yourself. You think your finances are broken? Appreciate yourself! YOU are your point of attraction. YOU are the center of YOUR universe. YOU are the light you seek. YOU are not and never have been broken.

I know there is nothing I can do to convince you that BIG changes come from this simple practice. You just have to try it for yourself. And let me know how the work of self-appreciation works for you.

January 26, 2015
Appreciating The Gifts of 2014

There are a lot of coaches and mentors sharing their New Year’s rituals like coming up with a theme, or choosing three words to guide you through the year. This year I’m doing things slightly different.

At the beginning of last year, I knew I wanted deeper relationships, more intimate conversations, and to be more present to my family. I received what I asked for abundantly! However, there were some unexpected surprises that the year brought that were a result of the intentions I set. Those surprises are the hidden gifts of 2014 that I want to take the time to not only appreciate, but to celebrate!

Celebration #1 – Discovering that I am a HUGE success!

I’ve lived a fairly interesting life by most people’s standards, and yet I always felt that I was chasing an elusive ghost called “Success.” No matter how much I did, or how much I accomplished, I never felt truly successful… until this year. This year I heard myself saying on a number of occasions, “I feel successful because I listen to my inner guidance.”

Before this year, I had adopted a definition of success that didn’t leave me feeling successful. The definition of success that I’ve been using up until this point is, “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” This definition of success is about pursuit. It makes perfect sense that I wouldn’t feel successful unless I was chasing some dream that was ‘out there’ somewhere separate from me. Hearing myself express my success as a function of my ability to listen and follow my inner guidance was a huge shift for me.

I had been taught to separate success from guidance, so in my mind my I was never successful. I would pursue a worthy ideal and when my guidance would give me a new direction or inspiration to slightly shift the course, I’d listen and shift. I have met the most amazing people, had amazing life experiences, enjoyed deep love, and pretty much get to live the life of MY dreams because I listen to my inner guidance. And every time I didn’t complete what I started, because I listened to my guidance, I felt like I had somehow failed. This year has taught me that my ability to listen to guidance and to act on it IS my success. So no matter what I do from now on, as long as I’m listening to my inner guidance and not ignoring it, I’ll know I am successful!

Celebration #2- Letting Go

This year I let go of more expectations regarding other people and I’m settling into more acceptance. I have been practicing forgiveness for the past 25 years however the new levels of “letting go” are bringing in a new layer of awareness about how our expectations affect how we feel and how we heal. I’m more and more mindful of the expectations I have that prevent me from allowing or receiving the fullness that life has to offer.

This was a huge year for letting go. I let go of a lot of things I really loved but weren’t exactly making me happy. I’m much happier now. I also let go of a lot of things that I people said I “should” do. The more I let go, the more freedom I have.

Celebration #3- Learning to Appreciate Myself

This is an ongoing pursuit of mine; the pursuit of self-appreciation. Earlier this year I was asking my inner guidance how can I help my clients really ‘get’ that they are amazing and understand that things are so much easier than we make them. I received a clear message, “You can’t make them, however here are 24+ ways to activate your DNA.” According to my guidance, we activate our DNA by appreciating ourselves without judging or trying to figure it out. I decided to start practicing what I’ve come to understand as “The Sacred Art of Self-Appreciation” 2014 was the year I learned to truly appreciate myself. This was not the easiest thing in the world for me to do because I harbored so many inner judgments. Not pretty. I started a Facebook group at the suggestion of a dear friend and mentor of mine and I invited a few friends to join. I posted at least a few times a week since March about what I appreciate about myself, my gifts, my work and it has been the single most transformational thing I’ve ever done. I’ve learned that I am so much more powerful than I ever imagined and I’ve learned that it is not easy to appreciate ourselves. You’ll hear a lot more about this in 2015.

There are so many gifts that 2015 brought me through my commitment to appreciating myself. It would be hard to list them all. The biggest gift is that I feel more alive than ever.

January 2, 2015
The Energy of Decision

Last week on the Women Think and Grow Rich Coaching and Conversation hangout, we talked about “Chapter 8: Decision – The Mastery Over Procrastination” from Napoleon Hill’s original edition of Think and Grow Rich.

And WOW! We blew this chapter out of the water.

Hill understood the power of decision and the entire chapter is about the courage it takes to make a powerful decision like the one it took to create The United States of America. One of the participants, said she could feel herself getting angry while reading this chapter. She is not the first person to say that. I’ve been facilitating Think and Grow Rich book studies and master mind groups for years and there are a few chapters that really stir the pot for women. Chapter 11 turns most women off untill they hear what it is really about and many people struggle with the chapter on decision.

A lot of passion goes into raising conscious awareness around any topic. We really had a passionate consciousness raising conversation about decision.

I love how naturally things move when I am tuned into the flow of consciouness that surrounds a great discussion. This week was no different.

There were 3 points that I wanted to make sure we touched upon.

1. Decisions come with equal amounts of opposition to the courage it takes to make the decision. This is important to know as a woman or even as a man who really wants to embody grace and ease in your life. There are decisions that require extreme amounts of courage to make, however most situations don’t require that sort of do or die decision making. When you make a decision you are cutting yourself off from any other option than what you are deciding. Choose and allow the universe to bring you whatever you need.

2. Choosing what you want and moving forward from a place of choice is a much more graceful way to live. When you make a choice, you make it from a more empowered potition and you create space for your own foward movement without opposition. This may seem like word play, and you’re right. Words have a life of their own and when you choose what you want instead of making a hard decision to have it, you create a “resitence free zone” within your subconscious. One of the guest, Andrea from Toronto, brought up the resitence free zone of choice during the hangout. It is brilliant. And so true. But you have to try it. Start being conscious of the choices you are making every day. Then move your awareness to make choices from a place of desire. Choose what you want and what feels good for you. Making decisions from a place of choice about what you really want instead of making decisions about what you think you should do, have, or be is your powerful point of attraction. Don’t take my word for it, experiment with it.

Choose and allow.

3. The power behind a choice is trust. You can make a decision to have what you want or you can choose what you want, neither words will make any difference in your life unless you take forward action towards the thing you want. If you really want to tap into your personal power, get very comfortable with Trust. When you choose what you want from a centred state of mind and trust yourself enough to take just the next tiny step, that is all you’ll ever need. Every step you take after choosing what you want is the next step. When you learn to trust yourself and trust your creator source, you gain divine momentum. Trust is the fuel that keeps choice moving.

So much came up in the hangout. My greatest inspiration comes in response to the conversation, either live or via email, because I’m sharing what I know to be true.

We are the presence of love.

Bonus Point

This little bonus discussion toward the end of the hangout was so valuable at wrapping up the discussion on the power of choice.

One of the participants said, “I find myself fighting with two sides of myself. The bold me and the other part of me that just wants to stay in bed with the covers over my head.”

When you are in the space of duality, the magic pill is to just appreciate yourself. Self-appreciation is the magic pill. On days when you don’t feel like getting out of bed and you hear that little voice in your head start to criticize yourself for being lazy or unmotivated, choosing to appreciate yourself is a powerful way to shift out of self-pity to self-power. You might say, “Even though I’m feeling, lazy, I completely love myself.” Then you can make a choice to get out of bed or stay in and be lazy. Either way you are in your power because you are making a consious choice.

The more you are aware of the choices you make every day, the more you remain in your power. Being in a state of conscious choice and notincing the choices you are making every day, draws all of your power into the moment. You become aware of yourself and take resposibility for the choice you make. Being in the now, appreciating the moment, and choosing what is next for you now, is where all of your power lies.

Napoleon Hill understood what it feels like to be in a place of masculine power. Choosing and allowing is what it feels like to be in a place of graceful power. Get confortable recognizing what it feels like for YOU to be in YOUR power. This is something that no one can explain to you, you have to feel it and experience it for yourself.

Be patient with yourself too. You want to grow into knowing yourself as someone who chooses excellence, expansion, and more engagement with life, while being completely self-loving and self-appreciating. The emergence of this awareness may take a little wiggling into. It is there. You are already divinely and naturally aligned.

Until next time, Be Grateful, (And appreciate the work you do!) Think BIG, Take INSPIRED Action, and ENJOY the Journey!

November 10, 2014
Impact of Attitude on Life

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than education, than money,
than circumstances, than failure, than successes,
than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.
It will make or break a company… a church… a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past…
we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.
And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

Charles R. Swindoll

October 15, 2014